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19 Of The Funniest Tweets By Women This Week

"Just put men in rice."

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nothing but respect for MY sexiest man alive

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Knowing the scoop but also minding my business.

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This cat looks like it's being interviewed by the NYT about Trump's broken promise to bring bodega cat jobs to its… https://t.co/QECDzhv62v

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And they never laughed and called him names again.

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Blake Shelton isn't even the hottest person named Blake Shelton

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I can't tell if the standards for Sexy have gotten lower or if the standards for Alive have gotten higher

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“Scott, I told you not to tell her about how you make your Thanksgiving mac and cheese. Cold macaroni noddles and a… https://t.co/gAhZ9j4hLm

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The last things I'll scream from my death bed

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Me at 6am: I can't wait to accomplish all my goals today. I have the same number of hours in a day as Beyoncé, let'… https://t.co/OFt3JHn8BC

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guys BOTH of my roommates are out of town this weekend, you know what that meannnsss..... ...NO, obviously not sex… https://t.co/N1vR8b1GEv

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blake shelton looks like a friend's dad who stands in the doorway asking 'what're u girls up to' when ur just tryin… https://t.co/9MZ2ywUJML

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My shirt says "well adjusted" because I think it's important to be aspirational 🤓🤓

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It's hard to keep up with all the garbage men so maybe we should have a Hunger-Games type cannon go off and we can… https://t.co/IdfUmlTGHi

17.

new rule the only men allowed are the ones in moonlight the rest of yall can

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Call me old-fashioned, but I want a man who will protect me like I'm the reputation of a guy he's never met

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