1. First up, our colourful vernacular:
when people ask why i think australians talk gross i’ll just show them this
2. Our love of the phrase "everything's hunky-dory":
Why the fuck do australians say hunky dory that's gross it's like saying tuna is sexy
3. Our insistence on reviving a long-dead hairstyle from the '70s:
australian men have started shaving their heads until their ears and then leaving a shoulder length mullet and it’s revolting
4. Our inability to master the "vampire cough" in public:
Why do Australians insist on coughing into their hands and then touching things? Most other nationalities seem to have mastered the cough into elbow manoeuvre- we’re gross.
5. Our, admittedly, distasteful preference for hocking a loogie on the pavement:
Why do Australians just spit on the ground, that's disgusting ya'll
6. Our unwavering loyalty to sweet Colonel Sanders:
why do australians love KFC so much? i be sick to my stomach y’all ain’t got other places?
7. Our love of the quintessential European gap year (pre-COVID...):
Australians: "oh my goddd, I want to take a gap year and do the Europe tour." Me: "Ew. Why?"
8. Our cheeky side of fried egg stuffed in a classic burger:
Why do Australians insist on adding fried eggs to burgers? Seriously it grosses me out.
9. Our accents, especially when compared in close proximity to Americans:
oh yuck, Australians sounds sooo bad when they're with Americans! :\
10. Our preference for drinking beers out of shoes:
Idk how Australians do "shoey" tbh, like you don't know where those shoes have been. What if the shoe belongs to a person with ingrown, fungus infected, bleeding toe nails???? Disgusting
11. And peer-pressuring all visiting celebrities to do the same:
Whoever says Australians have no culture have never been to a concert where we pressure the artist into doing a shoey
12. Our love of salty, crunchy pork crackling — although, to be fair, we stole this one from the Brits:
@ElPrezAU @drearyclocks :P You Australians and your crackling... it grosses me out.
13. Our CORRECT name for the king of crustaceans:
Australians call shrimps "prawns." that just grosses me out #District9
14. Our eternal and undying affection for our greatly misunderstood jar of yeast:
Vegemites sounds gross. It sounds like a mix of vegetables and termites. Is this what Australians eat bc idgi
15. And the fact that we'll even add it to desserts:
ew oh god, australia is making vegemite chocolate a thing ;_; that's so disgusting why would you DO that
16. Our distaste for footwear, no matter the season:
why do Australians insist on walking barefoot everywhere? #Gross
17. Our addition of pickled beetroot to literally everything:
anw beetroots are gross why do australians love them
18. Our well-intended affection for all the arachnids of the world.
🇺🇸Americans: "OMG soo many SPIDERS!!!! Gross!! Scary! Burn them! RUN!! 😱 🇦🇺Australians: "Aw, they're just babies. It's alright mate, the snakes in the floorboards will eat heaps of them!" 🐍👍 https://t.co/vsT52Qy6Vg
19. Our love of barbecuing our national emblem:
Yuck Australians eat kangaroos ..wtf ..I'm never going there
20. Our penchant for wearing empty chicken buckets as literal hats:
Australians, yuck
21. Our pride over the fact that we have strict gun control laws (and I mean c'mon, America — you're really reaching here):
Here we go. Someone says they don’t want to go to Australia because of their scary ass bugs, and here come the Australians like “wElL aT lEaSt We DoN’t GeT sHoT aYuCk YuCk yUcK”
22. And finally, our existence in general:
So done with Australians. Why do people want to go live there? Gross people. Ew.