1. First up, our Cadbury spreadables — including the vastly superior Malteasers Teasers variety.
omg?! i envy Australians! i want the maltesers spread~~~
This envious person must not be an American, because surely all manner of sin gets turned into a spread there.
2. The bizarre truth that we are legally entitled to a free portrait of the Queen of England.
Does anyone know where I can get an official portrait of Her majesty the Queen, kinda jealous the Canadians and Australians get it for free and framed up, I want one too. Anyone know how?
3. The fact that we reach the new year faster and drunker than the rest of the world.
I envy australians. They are already shitfaced drunk and ready for bed.
4. And Christmas Day...
I envy Australians.. Australians get Christmas first..
5. ...And every single day, for the rest of our lives.
I envy the Australians a little bit. They've already fucked up a day by the time I get to start it.
And yes, we know you're technically three hours ahead of us, New Zealand.
6. Our bomb-ass chips and ice cream varieties.
2 things I envy the Australians for: Red Rock Deli potato chips and Maggie Beer's Burnt Fig Honeycomb Caramel ice cream
7. Our culture of "gap years", which sees (privileged) students take a year off between high school and university to travel the world.
Oh how I envy Australians and their gap years. To be expected to travel a year around the world before returning to work is unbelievable
8. Our hot, flakey, deliciously meaty pies.
@CamMcH @darrenrovell @MrBlairHughes @sixers I envy Australians; all we have here in the US are pot pies, and those range from disappointing to disgusting.
9. Our jubilant overuse of the word "cunt".
#OnALighterNote You know who I envy? Australians. You know why? Because they can use the word cunt like Americans use the word motherfucker.
10. Our birds?
I envy Australians because they can see parrots in their natural habitat virtually anytime they want. I don't envy the fact they have to put up with magpies though.
11. But seriously, they've really got a thing for our birds.
I don't envy Australia its snakes and bugs and other fearsome beasts but I sure wouldn't mind some of those birds https://t.co/lTEcFZag7P
12. Our sexy accent, which turns simple phrases into elongated, overly-voweled nonsense.
@ all Australians I envy you for having such a hot accent
13. Our endless array of travel opportunities.
Travel envy. Wow. #Australia 🐫🐪🐫
14. Our stellar weather, beaches and general merriment.
I envy Australians Beaches Parties Weather Fun and all we get is a look at fucking 'Neighbours' Evil sods bahahahaa
15. Our tennis matches?? I dunno, this is getting strange now.
I envy Australians, all those tennis tournaments in your country for 2 months?! Naaah, this life no balance.
16. Our Tim Tams, obvs.
Be jealous non-Australian people.
17. The (not entirely truthful) discourse spread by celebrities that we all wake, surf, then begin the rest of our day. #RiseSurfRepeat
so with this i also learn that joel edgerton and chris hemsworth have relatively the same habit: waking up at 5-6 am and go for a surf or any other physical activities. i envy the aussies so much.
18. The fact that we get to celebrate Christmas in blistering heat. Take that, Bing Crosby.
I envy Australians who celebrates Christmas in summer.🎄🌞 It's tremendously freezing here in the northern hemisphere. 😑❄☃
19. The fact that we gave the remarkable Jonathon Swan to the rest of the world.
@JonathonSwan , one more reason to love (and envy) the Aussies https://t.co/yTNzOVtsKT
20. The razzle dazzle light display offered by our summer thunderstorms.
One thing I do envy about Australia is their summer thunderstorms. Those things are a sight to behold
21. And finally, our divine sunsets — because nobody does it better.
"@wwwdot5sos: #youknowyoureaustralianwhen you get amazeballs sunsets like this 💕🙌 " This is why i envy Australians
