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    17 Moments Anyone Who's Been Ruthlessly Attacked By Body Attack Will Understand

    Can't wait to get half naked and sweaty with 100 strangers in a cramped, windowless room.

    1. Racing into the studio so that you can get your preferred spot and feeling perversely out of place if you're forced to stand somewhere new.


    I'm sorry, you seem to be standing in the very spot that I sweatily claimed 72 classes back?

    2. And strategically placing yourself in the best position for optimal fan exposure.


    All hail the almighty, 20-year-old industrial fan.

    3. Feeling equal parts anxious and horni for approval whenever the instructor comes off the stage to inspect your form.

    Comedy Central

    Oh god, oh god, she's headed this way.

    4. And holding back an energy reserve so that you can unleash Dragon Ball Z-style and impress said instructor with your commitment to the moves.

    Toei Animation / BuzzFeed

    I'm desperate for your validation, please lordt tell me I'm doing a good job.

    5. Being utterly soaked in sweat by the end of track four.


    But proudly exclaiming "I'm so sweaty" for the next 30 minutes to anyone that will listen.

    6. Feeling like Beyoncé when you finally nail the transition from shuffle to superman.

    Columbia Records

    I knew I should have followed my dreams of being a dancer.

    7. But then feeling like a complete failure when you're struck down by a stitch or cramp.


    I have brought shame on the league of Body Attackers, just leave me here 2 die.

    8. Nervously laughing whenever the instructors make any kind of joke, so they don't get angry and make you work harder in the next track.


    Jokes about your sex life? Ya slaying me. Concerning amount of references to your drinking habits? What a LOL.

    9. Counting down 'til the push-up track, so you can lie in a sweaty heap on the gym mat and rest your weary buns of steel.

    TV One

    Goodbye ass pain, hello tricep torture.

    10. But forcing yourself to do pushups on your toes whenever the instructor glances your way.

    CBS / BuzzFeed

    For you, I would crawl through broken glass.

    11. Being ~triggered~ when you hear a track start to play that almost killed you in the last class.

    New Line Cinema

    I CANNOT and WILL NOT be subjected to five minutes of tuck jumps again.

    12. And having no idea how to actually perform said tuck jump without bending your spine into unnatural contortions.

    Working Title Films

    You show me a person who says that these are easy and I will show you a LIAR.

    13. Basking in the sweaty camaraderie that is your Body Attack family all moving in beautiful synchronicity.

    Columbia Records

    I am you and you are me and we are ONE.

    14. Thinking it's fine to squeeze in a class on your lunch break, because you'll just take a cold shower after and everyone will be none the wiser, right?


    An easy 45-minute workout and then I'll be back to the leadership meeting at 2 p.m.

    15. But then having your colleagues repeatedly ask if you're unwell when your face is still red 90 minutes after returning.

    Morgan Creek Entertainment

    If I hear one more coronavirus joke, I'm going to lose it.

    16. Waking up the next morning and aching in places you never knew existed.

    Amblin Entertainment

    Is this progress or an injury?

    17. And finally, counting down the days 'til you get to do it all over again.


    Bring. It. On.