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Australia Is Facing A Major Lettuce Shortage, So KFC And Subway Are Subbing In Cabbage And Aussies Are Fucking Thrilled

"Oh no! My straggly two strings of brown lettuce won't be on my burger!" — Sarcasm on POINT.

If anyone had "lettuce shortage" on the truly bizarre bingo card that is 2022, then guess what — your number is up. Australia is now facing a major shortage of lettuce crops nationally, which has led to soaring prices of this limp and entirely lacklustre vegetable.

In fact, the shortage is so severe that major fast food franchises like KFC and Subway have been forced to either substitute cabbage into the mix, or do without their wet, sad slices of lettuce altogether.

Now look, I'm not opposed to a bit of lettuce here and there, but subbing in the far superior and, let's face it, sturdier cabbage in its place? A genius move. Particularly when just one head of this pathetic excuse of a vegetable is costing upwards of $5???

And I'm not the only Australian to applaud the decision:

Probably going to get bashed for saying this, but I just got a Zinger burger with cabbage instead of lettuce due to the apparent lettuce shortage. And DUDE, when I say it slapped, it fucking slapped.

Twitter: @Kaylah_ilett

Then, of course, there's also those culinary geniuses who have suggested that KFC do away with the token veg altogether — and replace it with something far superior:

hey @KFCAustralia instead of substituting cabbage for lettuce u should use a hash brown instead

Twitter: @oysta

This^ genius? Unparalleled.

But you tell us, what do you think is the superior veg?