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The Hardest Game Of "F&^%, Marry, Kill" If You Were Trapped At This Work Event

If you're going to be THIS bored, might as well make it a game.

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  1. Who would you fuck?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Gary, because you saw him lift a box of staplers once and his form was Olympic-worthy.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Larry, because you once saw him put a whole chicken wing in his mouth and pull it out clean - wow!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Jerry, because he knows better than to make small talk and instead just bites his own hand all the time. He'd be a strong, silent lover.
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Who would you fuck?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Gary, because you saw him lift a box of staplers once and his form was Olympic-worthy.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Larry, because you once saw him put a whole chicken wing in his mouth and pull it out clean - wow!
  3.  
    vote votes
    Jerry, because he knows better than to make small talk and instead just bites his own hand all the time. He'd be a strong, silent lover.
  1. Who would you marry?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Gary, because he said "bless you" when you coughed once and then apologized for saying "bless you" and it was the closest your life ever felt to a rom com.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Larry, because he has successfully kept a goldfish alive at his desk for over three weeks.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Jerry, because he apparently brings his phone everywhere, including the shower, so he'd always text back.
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Who would you marry?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Gary, because he said "bless you" when you coughed once and then apologized for saying "bless you" and it was the closest your life ever felt to a rom com.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Larry, because he has successfully kept a goldfish alive at his desk for over three weeks.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Jerry, because he apparently brings his phone everywhere, including the shower, so he'd always text back.
  1. Who would you kill?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Gary, because you excitedly thought it was Friday and he corrected you and said it was Thursday.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Larry, because he forwards those inspirational cute animal emails to you all the time and you've had enough.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Jerry, because he tried to hold the elevator door open for you but was too slow, which is way worse than if he'd done it on purpose. He just failed.
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Who would you kill?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Gary, because you excitedly thought it was Friday and he corrected you and said it was Thursday.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Larry, because he forwards those inspirational cute animal emails to you all the time and you've had enough.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Jerry, because he tried to hold the elevator door open for you but was too slow, which is way worse than if he'd done it on purpose. He just failed.
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  1. Who would you fuck?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Anna, because she mutters the phrase "man buns man fun" at least once at every office party and you want to know if it's code for something.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Lana, because she secretly writes steamy fan fiction where the "Dumb and Dumber" guys get together.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Hannah, because you saw her polish a large spear in the kitchen once for no reason and you find her confidence sexy.
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Who would you fuck?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Anna, because she mutters the phrase "man buns man fun" at least once at every office party and you want to know if it's code for something.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Lana, because she secretly writes steamy fan fiction where the "Dumb and Dumber" guys get together.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Hannah, because you saw her polish a large spear in the kitchen once for no reason and you find her confidence sexy.
  1. Who would you marry?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Anna, because she sneezes into little plastic bottles so you know she's sanitary.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Lana, because she once trapped a mouse with her bare hands but then set it free while whispering "my heart is always open for you, Mortimer."
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Hannah, because she sometimes eats small mounds of ketchup with a spoon and, what can you say? You find it unspeakably adorable!
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Who would you marry?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Anna, because she sneezes into little plastic bottles so you know she's sanitary.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Lana, because she once trapped a mouse with her bare hands but then set it free while whispering "my heart is always open for you, Mortimer."
  3.  
    vote votes
    Hannah, because she sometimes eats small mounds of ketchup with a spoon and, what can you say? You find it unspeakably adorable!
  1. Who would you kill?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Anna, because she once "accidentally" ordered you salad for lunch.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Lana, because she puts on her sweater and says "brrrr, it's chilly!" but then takes it off and says "so hot in here!" about seven times an hour. Figure out your life, Lana!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Hannah, because she had her deskmate "taken out" for chewing too loudly. Kill or be killed.
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Who would you kill?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Anna, because she once "accidentally" ordered you salad for lunch.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Lana, because she puts on her sweater and says "brrrr, it's chilly!" but then takes it off and says "so hot in here!" about seven times an hour. Figure out your life, Lana!
  3.  
    vote votes
    Hannah, because she had her deskmate "taken out" for chewing too loudly. Kill or be killed.
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  1. Who would you fuck?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Flan, because someone just asked you "what you've been up to" and you need to move your body with another body out of animalistic frustration.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cran, because you just spent 20 minutes talking about spreadsheets and you feel like the next logical step involves a broom closet and a handle of vodka.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bleghn, because you already did. Olive Garden retreat. Two years ago. It wasn't great, but it's better than nothing.
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Who would you fuck?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Flan, because someone just asked you "what you've been up to" and you need to move your body with another body out of animalistic frustration.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Cran, because you just spent 20 minutes talking about spreadsheets and you feel like the next logical step involves a broom closet and a handle of vodka.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Bleghn, because you already did. Olive Garden retreat. Two years ago. It wasn't great, but it's better than nothing.
  1. Who would you marry?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Flan, because you've been at this company for eight years and you need to do something bold to stand out.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cran, because you haven't moved up in this business at all and you're a disappointment to everyone you know. Cran seems like he'd understand.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bleghn, because you've given up.
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Who would you marry?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Flan, because you've been at this company for eight years and you need to do something bold to stand out.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Cran, because you haven't moved up in this business at all and you're a disappointment to everyone you know. Cran seems like he'd understand.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Bleghn, because you've given up.
  1. Who would you kill?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Flan, because she just asked you how long you've worked here.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cran, because he wants you to give a presentation on Monday.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bleghn, because he just asked you why you've been so quiet this whole time.
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Who would you kill?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Flan, because she just asked you how long you've worked here.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Cran, because he wants you to give a presentation on Monday.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Bleghn, because he just asked you why you've been so quiet this whole time.
 
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