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26 Scandalous Secrets College Sex Educators Won't Tell You

You are your friends' main free condom hookup.

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1. You've experienced the initial uncomfortable snickers when you pull out a massive dildo to show to the class.

2. So you feel way more badass when presenting with a friend.

3. You've put condoms on a wide assortment of phallic objects.

4. And you've demonstrated it so many times that you tend to help your partner(s) do it IRL as well.

"Hun, you're not pinching the reservoir tip before rolling down! That can cause the condom to break – what are you doing????"

5. This is what your "office" looks like.

You've DEF stocked up on those lube packets, also.

6. Part of your job involves transporting dildos and vibrators, making you fear dropping your tote bag in the middle of campus.

*me, shoving dildos into my purse*

7. You've had to utter sentences you never thought you'd say in your life.

"Brian, can you please not wear the double-ended dildo as a scarf?"

8. You could have a nice long swim in the sheer volume of condoms you've given out.

9. And your friends know whom to go to when they need a free condom fix.

10. Campus tabling gigs where you hang with friends and get to talk about sex = the best way to make $$$.

11. And your booth is always the most interesting-looking at any given college event.

12. You are well aware that the best kind of goody bag is filled with assorted contraceptives.

13. In general, you get to give out the best things.

14. When you're not working, you may goof around with the sex toys because how can you not???

15. And there's pretty much no sex toy that shocks you or really weirds you out at this point.

You have seen it all, pretty much.

16. You get extra homework, but it's all stuff you're actually really interested in.

17. You now know every function of every sexual organ, because you had to memorize it all for work.

18. And you can feel confident that you know both how to give and get pleasure from sex for the rest of your life now so, uh, that's pretty cool!

19. You remember every cute pun and mnemonic device for remembering sex safety.

20. The more you teach, the less awkward or nervous you feel, no matter what you're demonstrating.

21. And you quickly learn that people are only uncomfortable because there aren't many places for them to ask these questions in the first place.

22. You've watched your peers have important revelations about sex right in the classroom.

23. And you know there's nothing quite like making someone feel more comfortable with themselves, even if it is just one person.

24. You get to talk about subjects that were taboo growing up, and bond with a room of strangers each and every time.

25. And you've met some of your best friends while doing it.

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