1. Have a kick-ass haircut.
Brandi Chastain
2. For instance a mullet.
Jim Thome
3. Or a jheri curl.
Ken Griffey Jr.
4. Or a flat-top.
Joe Namath
5. Or a buzz cut.
Aaron Rodgers
6. Or an afro.
Charles Barkley
7. Just not whatever Larry Bird has going on here.
Larry Bird
8. Awesome facial hair is a plus.
Rafael Palmeiro
9. Can't grow facial hair? Just smirk.
Greg Maddux
10. Nope. Too angry, Patrick.
Patrick Ewing
11. Mickey, didn't you hear what I said to Patrick? Chill out.
Mickey Mantle
12. Yeah, just like that.
Chris Evert
13. Having a cool-guy collar helps too.
John Stockton
14. Or fancy glasses.
Fred McGriff
15. Rock a skinny tie.
Scottie Pippen
16. Or a hoodie.
Tiger Woods
17. Or a great tux.
Gary Payton
18. Or a frilly shirt.
Roger Clemens
19. But never wear a shirt that looks like Bill Cosby designed it.
Kobe Bryant
20. If you can somehow combine a jheri curl, a mustache, a frilly shirt, and a great tux, you're doing something right.
Barry Bonds
21. Pose with a bitchin' computer.
Derek Jeter
22. Don't look too high.
Dennis Rodman
23. Maybe don't look high at all.
Paul Pierce
24. Try not to look like a dork.
Philip Rivers
25. Eat some McDonald's cookies in your photo.
David Robinson
26. Have a twin brother, so you can mess with people.
José Canseco
27. Look badass playing a sport you'll be famous for.
Shawn Kemp
Rafael Palmeiro
Gary Payton
Larry Bird
José Canseco
Jim Thome
Roger Clemens
28. Look goofy playing a sport you're not famous for.
Roger Maris
29. Have a great yearbook quote.
Mark McGwire
Quote: "Life is like a rollercoaster with it's ups and downs, just sit back and enjoy the ride."
30. For that matter have a really dumb yearbook quote. Either extreme is fine.
Tom Brady
31. Walk around your high school gym like its a club.
CC Sabathia
32. Have a cute date.
Magic Johnson
33. Hold public office.
Joe Montana
34. Make sure to button your shirt correctly.
Carmelo Anthony
35. And that your necklace doesn't look stupid.
Chris Paul
36. Graduating always makes for a good picture.
LeBron James
37. Be the most adorable American athlete in the history of the Olympics.
Mary Lou Retton
38. Or be the greatest athlete of all time.
Michael Jordan
39. Or just be Jeremy Lin.
Jeremy Lin.
Isn't he adorable?
