27 Fucking Hilarious Jokes That Got Over 50K Retweets This Month

    *opens box of cereal* We’ve updated our privacy policy.

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    me seamlessly transitioning between calm and panicked throughout the day

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    When I ask my friends to take a pic, I mean take THE pic. Take 15 photos, get on the floor, climb a tree, try flash and no flash, use snap, order a drone, do what it takes until you get THE pic https://t.co/xn0KsXB22f

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    you know what... i am a good boy and i deserve a day off. fetch your own ball today, becky.

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    Took some grease off my pizza today with a napkin so if you see me looking skinny tomorrow don’t be alarmed

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