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36 Of The Funniest College Tweets From 2018

"I skip test questions like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them."


me looking at my professor when people start zipping backpacks a few mins before class ends bc i want them to know i’m still listening


met a bunch of guys from Harvard yesterday and I kept pretending like I never heard of that school just to piss them of them legit turned red when I said, “Harvard? Is that like a local community college?” LMAOOOOOO


me: doesn’t understand a concept professor that has studied the subject for 37 years:



i just saw a guy in the library cry for five or so minutes and then his phone alarm went off and he just? stopped crying? and went right on back to work


Every professor's "email etiquette": please kneel and bow your head, wait for the Herald to announce your email Subject, please provide plentiful Offerings to show your loyalty Me: *follows etiquette* Prof: Thamks — sent from iPad


My professor after I took that hard ass final: HAPPY HOLIDAYS 😁😁😁 Me:


I skipped classes today and went to the mall, my mom called and said “hey what are you doing” and “hey I’m in Anthropologie” and she said “oh SRY! I didn’t realize you were in class! Bye love you. Also I’m SO PROUD OF YOU ALWAYS GOING TO CLASS!” I said “thanks mom! Bye(:”


me driving on campus: if u don’t move I will hit u omg me walking on campus: what r they gonna do lol hit me


Mom: “Are you learning anything in college ?” Me:


do i rlly need this degree if the earth is dying


Girls will go to the library pull out their laptop, textbook, agenda, multicolored pens, 2 calculators and a large coffee then just sit on their phone for two hours


Me and my mom clicking around the fafsa website not knowing wtf we’re doing



Me dragging my last 2 brain cells to lecture cause we need this degree


College students when we get free food and a T-shirt


Roommate: don’t you have a class right now? Me: yeah why


High school (Teacher who barely got through school and managed to get a teaching degree): my name is Ms. Johnson and you will call me as such College (Professor who is a top individual in their field with multiple degrees, maybe a PHD): hey guys what's up my name's Matt


me after the one (1) lecture that i spent entirely on my phone, rethinking whether all this is really worth a college degree


college is cool because people can cry or sleep anywhere and everyone completely understands the situation


Teacher: “I’m not gonna say names, but one person got a 52” Classmate: “Maaan, who the fuck got a 52?!?!” *class laughs* Me, hiding my paper with a 52:


I skip test questions like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them


Multiple choice in high school: a) not the answer b) DEFINITELY THE ANSWER c) not the answer In college: a) could be the answer b) oh this one could be too c) doubtful, but what if I’m wrong and it is the answer? d) vague option that could also be right



Me when my professor lectures for 1 hour and 15 minutes during a 1 hour and 15 minute class


*studying for exam in college* Me reading notes: ‘Tetrahymena thermophila are free-living pond ciliate which have a macro-nuclear draft genome of 180 chromosomes and 25,000 genes’ Me in my head: “Yeah most of this is pretty much common sense anyway” *goes to sleep


Me in HS: Yea I’m involved in 16 clubs, I have a 4.0, and I’m on 4 sports teams. Me in College: So good news, I’m passing



yo i hate honors college boys i just asked this guy “hey why aren’t koalas considered bears?” and he hits me with “they’re marsupials” shut up nerd the answer to the joke is “they don’t have the koalafications”


High school: Aye can we get an extra 5 minutes between classes please? College: what the heck am i supposed to do for 3 hours


Teacher: the average test score was a 45% The class:


Ever since college, that spongebob episode where he has to write an essay and ends up burning his house down to escape it is too relatable



finals week finahs hweek fichas heseedk richas husbedk richs husbadk rich husband


Me texting my kids once they’re in college and me and my husband finally start our world tour