back to top
DIY

16 Times Home Decor Went Too Far

Scary price tags and also just scary.

Posted on

1. This disembodied hand lamp costs $498

Chelsea: This looks like a spooky golden ghost hand to light the way.Joanna: Light the way to... hell?
anthropologie.com

Chelsea: This looks like a spooky golden ghost hand to light the way.

Joanna: Light the way to... hell?

2. These creepy dolls trapped in a glass prison are $295.99

Joanna: I guess these are maybe worth buying as a humanitarian effort to free these trapped souls.Chelsea: This is an actual nightmare. Like, that army of armless children is going to wake up while you are asleep and eat you. To get revenge on putting them in that glass.Joanna: I'm just imagining each one slowly climbing up the side of my bed in the night.
restorationhardware.com

Joanna: I guess these are maybe worth buying as a humanitarian effort to free these trapped souls.

Chelsea: This is an actual nightmare. Like, that army of armless children is going to wake up while you are asleep and eat you. To get revenge on putting them in that glass.

Joanna: I'm just imagining each one slowly climbing up the side of my bed in the night.

3. These fake old books cost $195

Chelsea: This looks like what happens to books after a volcano and it's really stressful. Can you open them or are they concrete?Joanna: These are fake old books.Chelsea: What's the point of a fake book? Why would you do this?Joanna: They're just to display.Chelsea: That makes me so angry. YOU COULD BUY SO MANY REAL BOOKS TO READ WITH $200. YOU COULD GIVE THOSE SCARY CHILDREN IN THE GLASS AN EDUCATION.
restorationhardware.com

Chelsea: This looks like what happens to books after a volcano and it's really stressful. Can you open them or are they concrete?

Joanna: These are fake old books.

Chelsea: What's the point of a fake book? Why would you do this?

Joanna: They're just to display.

Chelsea: That makes me so angry. YOU COULD BUY SO MANY REAL BOOKS TO READ WITH $200. YOU COULD GIVE THOSE SCARY CHILDREN IN THE GLASS AN EDUCATION.

4. This suffering partial horse costs $495

Joanna: I feel like this horse needs to be put out of its misery. I hate seeing it suffer like this.Chelsea: Look at its two lil boobies and halter top veins. It also looks kind of like it's a horse mask on a weird human body? Am I hallucinating?Joanna: I would feel so uncomfortable with this in my home. And constantly be like "I'm so sorry." To the horse. To anyone who came over and saw it.Chelsea: If you want to tell someone you're a sociopath without having to explicitly say it, this horse is for you.
restorationhardware.com

Joanna: I feel like this horse needs to be put out of its misery. I hate seeing it suffer like this.

Chelsea: Look at its two lil boobies and halter top veins. It also looks kind of like it's a horse mask on a weird human body? Am I hallucinating?

Joanna: I would feel so uncomfortable with this in my home. And constantly be like "I'm so sorry." To the horse. To anyone who came over and saw it.

Chelsea: If you want to tell someone you're a sociopath without having to explicitly say it, this horse is for you.

5. This shiny turtle costs $64.95

Joanna: I'm trying to imagine the person who wants this. This turtle thinks it's better than other turtles because it's gold and shiny.Chelsea: Turtles are not pretentious. Tortoises are but not turtles.Joanna: This fancy turtle thinks he's the talk of the town.Chelsea: I could see this being a murder weapon used on Jane the Virgin or something. Or just in life.
cb2.com

Joanna: I'm trying to imagine the person who wants this. This turtle thinks it's better than other turtles because it's gold and shiny.

Chelsea: Turtles are not pretentious. Tortoises are but not turtles.

Joanna: This fancy turtle thinks he's the talk of the town.

Chelsea: I could see this being a murder weapon used on Jane the Virgin or something. Or just in life.

6. This faceless rabbit costs $398

Joanna: As a rule, I find animals without heads upsetting.Chelsea: Yeah this is like you did something horrible to the animal and you're covering it up. Joanna: But everyone knows what you did. No one believes for one second this is just a lamp.Chelsea: Why wouldn't you want the bunny's face??? What's with taking cute animals and making them upsetting?
anthropologie.com

Joanna: As a rule, I find animals without heads upsetting.

Chelsea: Yeah this is like you did something horrible to the animal and you're covering it up.

Joanna: But everyone knows what you did. No one believes for one second this is just a lamp.

Chelsea: Why wouldn't you want the bunny's face??? What's with taking cute animals and making them upsetting?

7. This weird brain-looking lamp costs $1,298

Joanna: This is a lamp that costs $1300.Chelsea: That is more than my rent.Joanna: To me it looks like some kind of body tissue. Or a spore.Chelsea: Yeah this is really making my trypophobia flare up. I hate this.Joanna: Again, I'm trying to imagine a person who sees this and thinks, "Wow! I must have it!"Chelsea: And it's so upsetting. This hangs next to a "live laugh love" sign in someone's all white bedroom. I would walk in there and immediately walk out.
anthropologie.com

Joanna: This is a lamp that costs $1300.

Chelsea: That is more than my rent.

Joanna: To me it looks like some kind of body tissue. Or a spore.

Chelsea: Yeah this is really making my trypophobia flare up. I hate this.

Joanna: Again, I'm trying to imagine a person who sees this and thinks, "Wow! I must have it!"

Chelsea: And it's so upsetting. This hangs next to a "live laugh love" sign in someone's all white bedroom. I would walk in there and immediately walk out.

8. This vomiting cow pitcher costs $64

Chelsea: I immediately heard thundering "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." I would expect that sound to happen every time I poured milk out of it and would be disappointed every time it did not.Joanna: This looks like the cow is vomiting. Every time I poured this I would have to make "behhhhhhhh!" sound effects.Chelsea: This would also look like they were projectile vomiting milk so I'm unclear as to why that's appealing in anyway.Joanna: It's fun to see liquids come out of an animal's mouth before you consume them.Chelsea: I would be more OK with this if this was a set of udders.Joanna: It would make more sense.
westelm.com

Chelsea: I immediately heard thundering "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." I would expect that sound to happen every time I poured milk out of it and would be disappointed every time it did not.

Joanna: This looks like the cow is vomiting. Every time I poured this I would have to make "behhhhhhhh!" sound effects.

Chelsea: This would also look like they were projectile vomiting milk so I'm unclear as to why that's appealing in anyway.

Joanna: It's fun to see liquids come out of an animal's mouth before you consume them.

Chelsea: I would be more OK with this if this was a set of udders.

Joanna: It would make more sense.

9. This... "disco gnome" costs $69.99

Joanna: It looks like an evil gnome robot.Chelsea: The whole point of gnomes is that they aren't fancy.Joanna: This gnome is too fancy.Chelsea: This also seems like part of The Matrix.
cb2.com

Joanna: It looks like an evil gnome robot.

Chelsea: The whole point of gnomes is that they aren't fancy.

Joanna: This gnome is too fancy.

Chelsea: This also seems like part of The Matrix.

10. This family of glass... elephants? costs $99.95

Chelsea: Why are rich people taking things that I love and making them something I hate? This COULD BE SO CUTE and it's so bad.Joanna: Speak for yourself. I'm going to add them to my glass elephant collection.
crateandbarrel.com

Chelsea: Why are rich people taking things that I love and making them something I hate? This COULD BE SO CUTE and it's so bad.

Joanna: Speak for yourself. I'm going to add them to my glass elephant collection.

11. This important reminder to enjoy the little things costs $199

Joanna: I feel like putting a wooden sign on your wall to "enjoy the little things" means you are 100% not actually enjoying the little things.Chelsea: Yeah, at least make it small.Joanna: If anything, you should be reading this with a magnifying glass.Chelsea: This is like someone yelling, "I AM SO RELAXED AREN'T YOU RELAXED??"Joanna: "Hey! Hey you! Are you enjoying the little things? Enjoy them harder!!!!"
potterybarn.com

Joanna: I feel like putting a wooden sign on your wall to "enjoy the little things" means you are 100% not actually enjoying the little things.

Chelsea: Yeah, at least make it small.

Joanna: If anything, you should be reading this with a magnifying glass.

Chelsea: This is like someone yelling, "I AM SO RELAXED AREN'T YOU RELAXED??"

Joanna: "Hey! Hey you! Are you enjoying the little things? Enjoy them harder!!!!"

12. These death apples cost $99.95

Chelsea: "Here look at my poison apples."Joanna: If goths shopped at Crate & Barrel, I guess.
cb2.com

Chelsea: "Here look at my poison apples."

Joanna: If goths shopped at Crate & Barrel, I guess.

13. These wooden balls cost $109.99

Chelsea: These look like dried coconuts you'd find on a tropical beach! It's like a West Elm version of Wilson.Joanna: They are wooden balls that cost $100.Chelsea: Each?!?Joanna: Yeah. Well, for the big ones.Chelsea: They are cracked! What do you do with those?Joanna: I guess you would just paint a face on it and talk to it.Chelsea: What if it rolled away? What if it got wet and got mildewy like a log? This stresses me out.
restorationhardware.com

Chelsea: These look like dried coconuts you'd find on a tropical beach! It's like a West Elm version of Wilson.

Joanna: They are wooden balls that cost $100.

Chelsea: Each?!?

Joanna: Yeah. Well, for the big ones.

Chelsea: They are cracked! What do you do with those?

Joanna: I guess you would just paint a face on it and talk to it.

Chelsea: What if it rolled away? What if it got wet and got mildewy like a log? This stresses me out.

14. This weird ball of sticks costs $1,675

Joanna: This reminds me of an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Something evil that lives in the woods clearly built this.Chelsea: This looks like one of those burial pods. There is a monster in there and it might be the person who charged $1,675 for this to come out and eat your soul.Joanna: If this were hanging in my home I'd be a sure a giant moth would hatch out of it any second.
restorationhardware.com

Joanna: This reminds me of an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Something evil that lives in the woods clearly built this.

Chelsea: This looks like one of those burial pods. There is a monster in there and it might be the person who charged $1,675 for this to come out and eat your soul.

Joanna: If this were hanging in my home I'd be a sure a giant moth would hatch out of it any second.

15. This bronze warthog skull costs $119.99

Chelsea: Imagine having a kid come over and be like, "OMG PUMBA DIED?!""When I was a bronze warthoooooog, when he was a bronze warthooooog!"Joanna: Yep.
restorationhardware.com

Chelsea: Imagine having a kid come over and be like, "OMG PUMBA DIED?!"

"When I was a bronze warthoooooog, when he was a bronze warthooooog!"

Joanna: Yep.

16. This antler chandelier costs $5,195

Chelsea: This is some Game of Thrones shit. Like this was above the red wedding or whatever. I feel like this would be really good for your secret cave lair. I bet there's a lot of craftsmanship that goes into it so maybe I'm not so mad at the price. You must own a throne to have this in your home though.Joanna: Yeah if you don't live in a castle, what are you doing?Chelsea: That's a question I ask myself every day.
restorationhardware.com

Chelsea: This is some Game of Thrones shit. Like this was above the red wedding or whatever. I feel like this would be really good for your secret cave lair. I bet there's a lot of craftsmanship that goes into it so maybe I'm not so mad at the price. You must own a throne to have this in your home though.

Joanna: Yeah if you don't live in a castle, what are you doing?

Chelsea: That's a question I ask myself every day.