I have received a participation trophy.I have received a participation award that wasn't technically a trophy. It was really more of a ribbon or a certificate.I received more than 10,000 participation awards before the age of 18.I have a deep thirst for participation awards that cannot be easily quenched.If I go more than a few days without receiving a participation award I get upset and start punching the air in front of me.Each month I spend at least $500 on avocado toast.I can't afford to buy a house because it would really eat into my avocado toast budget.Someone once served me toast without avocado on top and I killed that person.I drink rosé all day.I have hosted a rosé party in my parents' basement and I'm 34 years old.I refuse to work in an office that doesn't have bean bag chairs.When it comes to work benefits, I would choose bean bag chairs over a 401(k).I know from firsthand experience that it's difficult to clean avocado toast off of a bean bag chair, so be careful.My parents loved me and encouraged me to follow my dreams and now my life is ruined.I was encouraged to find a career that I enjoy and now I have to live inside a garbage can with my parents.If my boss at my job doesn't tell me I'm a special angel every day I will start screaming and crying.One time I took a shower and I saw a bar of soap in there and I freaked out bigtime because I only use liquid soap.One time someone handed me a napkin and I slapped it away and said, "I don't use those!"I use social media so much that I got a disease.The only thing I love more than avocado toast and participation trophies are wine and marijuana. But if I don't have all four of those things, it's a huge problem.When I post a selfie on Instagram, I wait to see how many likes I get and then that's how many avocado toasts I'll eat that day.I deserve to get a lot of likes.I'm never going to get married or have children because I think it might upset my dog.My Etsy store sells miniature ceramic mugs for babies to drink matcha out of.I once tried to fit a rose quartz crystal up my nose and it helped me so much.Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel where you can watch me do my morning routine as I answer questions about ghosts. Please, it is my only source of income.I forgot what a car is.I passionately kissed an avocado but it didn't go viral.The only color I can detect is a pale pink.Every day I wake up and think about which industry I can destroy.I use social media because I think I'm a very special baby.