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How Much Do You Hate People?

People are the worst.

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    When someone walks really slowly.
    When someone walks really slowly while blocking your path.
    When people walk really slowly up stairs in front of you.
    When people walk really slowly down stairs in front of you.
    When people stand on the escalator.
    When people bump into you.
    When someone delays the elevator by running on at the last second.
    When that person takes the elevator to the second floor.
    When people yell for no reason.
    When someone has an annoying laugh.
    When someone is laughing and laughing at something that can't possibly be that funny.
    When someone cuts in line.
    When people suck at waiting in line.
    Group projects.
    When someone repeatedly taps a pen.
    When people are walking in front of you and then stop suddenly.
    When someone drives slowly in the fast lane.
    When someone makes loud chewing or drinking sounds.
    When someone takes forever at the ATM doing god knows what.
    When someone takes forever using the self-checkout at the grocery store.
    When someone blocks the aisle at the grocery store.
    When someone gets in line ahead of you a split second before you were there.
    When someone talks really loud on a plane or a train.
    When the stranger sitting next to you wants to chat.
    When people get on the train before letting others off.
    When someone leans their whole body on a pole on a train.
    When people take up a seat with their bag.
    When people save seats in a movie theater.
    When there's a crowd anywhere.
    When someone says "excuse me" because they're too lazy to take a different path around.
    When someone says "excuse me" for any reason.
    When all the seats somewhere are taken.
    When the only seat left is next to a weirdo.
    When someone parks poorly.
    When someone takes the parking spot you were clearly about to take.
    When people leave a mess.
    When there's a line for the bathroom.
    When someone does anything weird in a public restroom.
    When someone takes forever in a single-person bathroom.
    When someone plays music without headphones.
    When people push through the crowd at concerts.
    When someone spills a drink on you.
    When someone randomly bursts into song in a non-Broadway setting.
    When someone randomly bursts into song in a Broadway setting.
    When your neighbors are really loud.
    When your neighbors play bad music.
    When you neighbors play good music.
    When your neighbors say hi.
    When someone looks over your shoulder at what you're reading.
    When someone asks you for a favor.
    When someone says, "Are there any more questions?" And then someone asks a question.
    When someone gets all up in your personal space.
    When someone gives you a look.
    When someone asks you to explain your job.
    When someone asks, "Read any good books lately?"
    When someone asks, "What kind of music do you like?"
    When someone asks, "How are you?"
    When someone says, "Good morning!"
    When someone says, "Happy Friday!"
    When anyone speaks.
    The laughter of children.
    When people are around.

How Much Do You Hate People?

What! You don't hate people at all. You might even like them. That's gross, but you're probably very well adjusted and pleasant to be around. Maybe even... **shudder** ...a people person.
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You only sort of hate people. Sometimes. When they're being the worst. And that's perfectly natural. You don't put up with any nonsense but you're probably not a dick.
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You hate people. It's true. But you haven't totally given up faith in humanity and that's impressive. You still have a little more hate left in you to give. Treasure that hate and save it for a special occasion.
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You're definitely a category 5 people hater. You hate them so much. Your hate reserves are probably at a critical level because of all the hate you've generously given out to the people of the world on a daily basis. And it makes total sense. People suck. Hate on, hater.
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