How Messy Are You?

Oops… you spilled again.

Getty Images/iStockphoto JStaley401
  1. Check all that apply.
    1. I have spilled food within the last 24 hours.
    2. I have spilled food on myself within the last 24 hours.
    3. I have spilled food on someone I care about within the last 24 hours.
    4. My favorite clothes always get ruined by my favorite foods.
    5. I have seen a smudge on my arm and not known if it was food or blood.
    6. Sometimes food falls down my shirt and it’s lost forever.
    7. I have discovered food items in unexpected places. And that can be good or bad.
    8. At restaurants, the waiter often has to stop and take a moment to deal with the mess I’ve made.
    9. If a guest came over to my home right now without warning, I would feel ashamed.
    10. If a guest came over to my home right now without warning, they might be afraid.
    11. If someone were coming over it would require more than two hours of cleaning for my home to look decent.
    12. I regularly go more than a month without doing laundry, suckas.
    13. Letting dishes pile up in the sink should be my job.
    14. My life is comprised of highly organized piles.
    15. I have been the person who tracked in dirty footprints.
    16. I have had scary encounters with mold.
    17. I don’t want to talk about it.
    18. I’ve noticed a mystery smell.
    19. I don’t want to talk about.
    20. “Eh, close enough” is my personal motto/life philosophy.
    21. The backseat of my car is full of interesting things. (Or, if I had a car, it would likely be full of garbage.)
    22. I have formed a mountain entirely out of clothing.
    23. I have formed a mountain entirely out of shoes.
    24. I have had to walk in a strategic path in my bedroom so I don’t step on anything.
    25. When I get back from a trip my luggage stays packed for a good long while.
    26. The inside of my microwave looks like a funfetti cake was murdered.
    27. I have never once cooked a meal without splattering food in some way.
    28. I do not understand how dust just keeps coming back. What’s its deal?
    29. I’m an expert at fitting way more trash into the trash can than it can physically hold.
    30. Don’t open my closet. Seriously, don’t.
    31. I’m sorry about the bathroom :(
    32. Seriously, use it at your own risk.
    33. I couldn’t tell you what’s under my bed and I refuse to find out.
    34. There are things at the back of my fridge that I don’t want to think about.
    35. I have dropped something on the floor and just never picked it up.

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