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When I was 12 I once babysat for a multicultural family. When I got there I found out the three-year-old boy was taught French but hadn’t yet learned English. After his parents left I couldn’t communicate with him at all, and for some reason he wouldn’t stop trying to unzip my pants.… Read More

The first time I saw a penis I was 14 and not mature enough to handle it. I was shadowing a nurse through a school program (WTF?) and we had to give an old dude in the ICU a sponge bath. So the first penis I saw was super old and wrinkly, with very saggy balls. It basically made me… Read More

One of my cousins would never share her toys, so one day I stole one and ran, but I stepped in her Barbie car and flipped over backwards. My foot got wedged into the car and when it flew off as I flipped over a piece of bone chipped off my foot.

A moving story about life and loss.

Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech.

My friends and I flew to Chicago for a bachelorette party and while out partying one friend had WAYYY too much to drink. As we were on our way into our sixth or seventh bar of the night she wasn't allowed in and since most of our group had already made it in we got separated. She… Read More

I mooned a room full of Jehovah's Witnesses.

When I babysat for my younger brother and he asked when our parents would be home, I told him that there had been a terrible accident and they died and were never coming home. He cried so hard, and he fell for it every time.

Best friends. He doesn't love me.