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What It's Like Being A Vegetarian At Thanksgiving

I have seen my enemy, and it is chicken broth.

Everyone: "So what are you going to EAT????"

Um, everything that doesn't have meat in it.

Or, "Vegetarians can still eat turkey, right?"

And someone in your family will still be like, "Are you SURE you don't want any turkey??? ARE YOU SURE????"

Then, you're the butt of countless Tofurky jokes.

Your drunk uncle asks if you're "still doing that weird no-meat thing."

You feel a little awkward asking if the stuffing is made with chicken or vegetable broth.

Inevitably, someone will ask an invasive question at the table about why you're veg.

Or assume you're going to preach to the whole table about how THEY shouldn't be eating turkey.

Which you're obviously not.

Picking bacon bits out of a salad has become your favorite sport.

You sometimes feel guilty for taking too much of the sides:

If you go to someone's place for Thanksgiving, you might be introduced as "This is [you], he/she's a vegetarian."

You eat a LOT of rolls. A lot.

AND Brussels sprouts. Which is OK, because Brussels sprouts are tiny capsules of heaven.

You offer to bring a side dish to help out the host, and also to make sure you actually have something to eat.

But regardless, some delicious things are (almost always!) vegetarian:

And, most importantly:

(Here's a list of wines that are certified vegan.)