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People Are Shocked By What The Hamburger Helper Looks Like Under His Glove

I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS.

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Like any good millennial, you're definitely familiar with the world's most famous sentient meat-loving clown hand, the Hamburger Helper.

Betty Crocker / Via youtube.com

But have you ever thought about...what the Hamburger Helper looks like under his glove????

Comedy Central

Worry no more, because your questions are about to be answered!!

It all started when Twitter user soongrowtired tweeted this:

someone who is good at science please help which is the correct anatomy of hamburger helper

Some people guessed that the Hamburger Helper is actually an invertebrate.

@soongrowtired He's actually an invertebrate made mostly of very low density fluid and air sacs, kinda like a cepha… https://t.co/0VdMFViLlg

Or that there's one giant human skull under there, with finger bones growing out of it.

Other sniffed at the idea that the Helper is bound by the confines of finite anatomy.

@soongrowtired You think Helper is limited by the restraints of our universe. He is beyond that, and you will pay f… https://t.co/GT1Bc9R12N

Tumblr even got involved, because this is way too important a matter to be limited to one social media platform.

WE NEEDED TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

At first, the Helper was reluctant to weigh in:

@soongrowtired I cannot be defined by your so-called human standards

But eventually, it relented and gave the world the anatomical rendering it so desperately wanted.

That's right, there's a whole human body inside the Helper, complete with FOUR HUMAN-Y ARMS.

Not to mention a crotch where its mouth is???

Join me in waking up in a cold sweat at 3 a.m. and pondering this for the rest of this week!

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