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29 Things All Divinity School Students Will Understand

Wait, some people don't talk about theology at parties?

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1. Your vocabulary now regularly includes words like "hermeneutics," "kenosis," and "soteriology."

2. And the names of your classes...well...

3. It's not at all weird to see nuns or monks just chilling out on campus.

4. 500 pages of reading is a light load for you.

5. Religion puns. Religion puns ALL THE TIME.

6. People from other parts of your school never understand what the divinity school is.

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"So...are you Catholic?"

7. So you get a lot of "Are you studying to become a minister?"

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Maybe you are. But maybe you aren't! There are both kinds of us, and a third kind that just has no freakin' clue what their future plans are.

8. You reflexively refer to the Bible as "the text" now.

9. Other people get starstruck by Taylor Swift. You regularly get starstruck by theologians and scholars.

OMG OMG, do you think they'll take a picture with me?
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OMG OMG, do you think they'll take a picture with me?

10. When you go to the library, you need a forklift to haul all your books back.

And those are just the books you need to do ONE paper.
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And those are just the books you need to do ONE paper.

11. You know darn well that the only good language is a dead language.

12. And that "exegesis" isn't a swear word.

13. You or someone you know has uttered the phrase, "I can't. I have chapel."

Which usually involved some sort of labyrinth.
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Which usually involved some sort of labyrinth.

14. When you find out AAR/SBL is going to be in a vaguely tropical location:

15. Your jokes are....not like other people's jokes.

16. For example, someone brings this beer to every event, and it's always hilarious.

Every. Time.
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Every. Time.

17. Some of your classes meet in buildings that look straight out of Harry Potter.

18. Your library cubicle is your second home/bed.

19. Everything in your brain pre–divinity school has been replaced with names, dates, and -isms.

20. There's always freshly baked bread on campus. Somewhere.

For sacraments class. And also (shhhh) sometimes for snacking.
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For sacraments class. And also (shhhh) sometimes for snacking.

21. You haven't used so many flashcards since elementary school.

22. Book titles like this don't even make you blink twice.

23. Some of your classes are just a person's first name.

"See you in Luke!""How's studying for John going?"
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"See you in Luke!"

"How's studying for John going?"

24. Explaining to your non-academic friends why you can't go out on Friday nights.

25. You 100% know the difference between a chasuble and a stole.

26. Ironically, you drink way more at div school than you ever have in your life.

Excuse you, it's called "getting drunk in the spirit."
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Excuse you, it's called "getting drunk in the spirit."

27. But if you don't want your party to turn into an epistemology debate, you have to set some ground rules.

Otherwise everyone is definitely going to stand around talking about the teleological suspension of the ethical.
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Otherwise everyone is definitely going to stand around talking about the teleological suspension of the ethical.

28. If your teacher doesn't show up to class, you discuss the readings anyway.

29. But no matter how hard it gets, you're happy to be pursuing your calling, and your div school friends will be your wonderful friends for life.

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