Jack White's Guacamole Recipe Is Actually Pretty Good

The University of Oklahoma recently leaked White's tour rider, which contains a fairly specific recipe for guac. I decided to try it out.

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I used to be one of Jack White's biggest fans — I even interviewed him once — until he spewed sexist garbage about me (me, personally!) in Rolling Stone magazine. Since then, I haven't been able to listen to his music without feeling a little queasy.

But when the University of Oklahoma leaked White's tour rider, which includes a very specific guacamole recipe that's to be made and waiting for him before each show, I thought, hey, just because Jack White said he wanted to roll up his song lyrics and shove them in my mouth doesn't mean he doesn't know his way around an avocado.

I've made my fair share of guac at home before, so I decided to give the recipe a go to see if it was actually any good, or if White should stick to guitar solos.

And the recipe itself, which calls for very specific CHUNKS.

8 x large, ripe Haas avocados (cut in half the long way, remove the pit—SAVE THE PIT THOUGH—, and dice into large cubes with a butter knife. 3 or 4 slits down, 3 or 4 across. You'll scoop out the chunks with a spoon, careful to main the avocado in fairly large chunks.)

4 x vine-ripened tomatoes (diced)

½ x yellow onion (finely chopped)

1 x full bunch cilantro (chopped)

4 x Serrano peppers (de-veined and chopped)

1 x lime

Salt & pepper to taste

Mix all ingredients in a large bowl, careful not to mush the avocados too much. We want it chunky. Once properly mixed and tested, add the pits into the guacamole and even out the top with a spoon or spatula. Add ½ lime to the top later so you cover move of the surface with the juice (The pits and lime will keep it from browning prematurely.) Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until served. Please don't make it too early before it's served. We'd love to have it around 5 pm.

Ooh la la. The whole time I'm chopping stuff, I'm picturing a miserable backstage assistant balancing a cutting board on top of a speaker, sullenly slicing up Jack White's tomatoes.

This seems like a LOT of onion for guacamole, and I usually use a red onion instead. But since I love onion and would eat one like an apple if it were socially acceptable, I go with it.

The recipe next calls for "1 lime," and for a second I think, "Wait, does he want it CHOPPED UP and mixed into the guac?"

I briefly consider it, but then I just juice the limes into the bowl like normal humans would.

If you like your guac more dip- or Chipotle-like, you might not be into something this hearty. But for an onion and avocado lover like me, I enjoyed that the guacamole was so badass it made me chew it.

White's reps have since tried to do damage control about the leak, and in their statement, they backtrack on White's alleged love of Jackamole.

"Jack doesn't write the rider nor make demands about his favorite snacks that must be in his dressing room. We're not even sure he likes guacamole, but we do know that the folks who work hard to put on the show do enjoy it."

Has White's thirst for guac been blown out of proportion? I'm not sure, but no matter who is the REAL avocado fan, I'd try this recipe again.