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23 Reasons Living In Florida Ruins You For Life
I'm sorry, what is this "snow shovel" that you speak of?
Because now you'll never move to a state without a Publix.
Because you get used to Disney World being only a car ride away.
Because the only winter clothing you have to buy is a hoodie.
Because everywhere else, "winter" and "going to the beach" are mutually exclusive.
Because you wouldn't be able to function somewhere where people drive normally.
Because Florida skies are so lovably dramatic all the time.
Because "indoor hobbies" are boring as heck.
Because warm nights after the humidity drops are so, so perfect.
Four words: EATING. ICE CREAM. YEAR-ROUND.
Because schadenfreude is impossibly sweet.
Because you've worked hard to develop your skill of identifying every type of palm tree on sight.
Because flip flops are still accepted as formal footwear if they're shiny enough.
Because you know "rain" on the weather app is just a 15-minute shower, not an all day thing.
Because parallel parking is not a real thing you have to worry about.
You'll only find better Cuban food than Miami in... Cuba.
Because anything below a Category 3 hurricane means that you are most definitely throwing or going to a party.
Because you don't even own an outfit that doesn't pair perfectly with sandals.
Because you're used to going to the pool in fall.
Because there's only one place where you can ride the Hogwarts Express to Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade.
You won't find fiercer college football rivalries than 'Canes vs. Gators vs 'Noles.
Because coming to terms with the fact that a lot of northern states just, like, don't have ceiling fans is a harsh reality.
Because you know what fresh fish should look like.
Because it's iced coffee season ALL. YEAR. LONG.
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