NEITHER GRAPES NOR NUTS. IF IT LOOKS GROSS AND IT TASTES GROSS, IT PROBABLY IS GROSS

PINK MILK NO THANK YOU PLUS THE GRAINY RESIDUE ICK

I ASKED FOR CEREAL NOT A PH.D. IN PHILOSOPHY

COULD YOU BE ANY HARDER TO PRONOUNCE OR ENJOY

TOO SPHERICAL THE BIMBO OF CEREALS

WHAT'S THE MATTER RICE KRISPIES AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU SNAP CRACKLE AND POP ARE ROLLING IN THEIR GRAVES

HOW COULD YOU EAT THAT AND NOT GET SAD

WANT PROOF THAT CHEX SUCKS? THE ONLY TIME ANYONE LIKES IT IS WHEN IT'S WITH OTHER STUFF

NOTE TO MR. KELLOGG: THE POINT OF MOST CEREALS IS TO DISGUISE THE BRAN

THAT RABBIT MUST HAVE DIABETES BY NOW AMIRITE

I'VE ONLY BEEN AWAKE FOR TEN MINUTES AND I HAVE TO STARE AT PEOPLE WHO'VE ACHIEVED MORE THAN I EVER WILL

HEY AS LONG AS YOU'RE FOOLING YOURSELF WHY DON'T YOU JUST USE HAAGEN-DAZS INSTEAD OF MILK

MMMM HOW ABOUT SOME CORN ON THE COB PULVERIZED AND FLATTENED INTO A FLAKE-LIKE CONSISTENCY YUM OH WAIT NO

LIFE TIP NOTHING GOOD HOT COMES IN A PACKET

HOPE YOU WEREN'T TOO ATTACHED TO THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH

SO IT'S ONLY FOR LADIES WHAT A MISANDRIST PIECE OF CRAP