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    22 People Told Me Their Reasoning Behind Never Getting Married

    "I was married for just shy of a decade. I'll never do it again."

    As someone who doesn't consider marriage a priority or goal, I was curious about why other people with similar sentiments feel that way.

    So, I asked the members of the BuzzFeed Community who just say "no" to marriage what their reasoning is.

    Here's what they had to say:

    1. "Traditional heterosexual marriage doesn't benefit women. We've reached a time where most families can't get by on just one paycheck, but cooking, housework, and caring for children are still seen as women's work. Even husbands who do a lot of the domestic duties view it as 'helping' their wives rather than doing their equal share for the family."

    "I'm much happier raising my kids as a single mom without feeling resentful of a husband who actually created more work for me, called me a nag if I asked him to contribute, then complained that I wasn't fun anymore. I know this isn't the dynamic in all marriages, but I've seen it way too often, and I'm over it." 


    "I'm married and agree 100% with what you said." 


    2. "I was married for just shy of a decade. I'll never do it again. So many dudes don't want a partner; they want their mother, a maid, and a chef who they occasionally bone. And there are so many cheaters. I'm not tying myself to someone ever again like that. If shit goes south, I can just leave. And lastly, I really like my space."


    person stretched out on couch

    3. "You can commit to someone without paying the government to be allowed to do so. And that way, you don't have to pay the government AGAIN to get out of it when it inevitably turns to shit. And let's be real, marriage changes people, the mask falls off, and usually that ends badly."


    4. "My partner’s first marriage ended horribly with his wife cheating on him repeatedly with multiple people. After that, he swore off marriage and was really upfront about it when we started dating."

    "Now, 16 years later, I love not being married. I never had to go through the hassle and expense of a wedding, but we signed paperwork and wills in case anything ever happens to one of us. And not being married helps keep us financially independent, which is great because I’m super frugal and would stress out about some of his spending if we shared finances." 


    two people signing paperwork

    5. "May I chime in as a married woman? I envy all of these unmarried people. I love my husband to pieces, but 10 years in, I'm realizing I should have skipped the marriage part and just been domestic partners. Relationships are hard enough without knowing you are tied to a person by a piece of paper and have to PAY if you want to sever that tie. My biggest piece of advice to anyone would be don't marry a man with kids without first spending a ton of time with and around them and the family of theirs that come along with the situation. Trust me. Save yourself the stress and trauma."


    6. "Approaching retirement, it doesn't make fiscal sense to marry. One serious health crisis could bankrupt a married couple, while staying unmarried only bankrupts one while allowing the other to provide stabilizing income. I'll never remarry."


    senior man in front of a home

    7. "I never dreamed of it. I don’t think it’s necessary, and it’s archaic. My parents’ marriage was not good, so I always saw it as a prison, and I value my freedom and independence too much. I don’t see the point of involving the government in a relationship just to prove you love each other."


    8. "I went through fertility treatments on my own. I am a single mom by choice. I don't really like the thought of someone else having a say how I raise my daughter. I have a car, a house, and a good job. I like it being us and doing what the two of us want to do. I'm happy with our lives and how we live it. I don't see how me being married would benefit either one of us. My brothers have happily and willingly taken on the role of positive male role models for my daughter. Plus, I watch a lot of true crime shows. I am terrified of bringing a man into my home and something happening to my daughter."


    a woman and daughter

    9. "Honestly, at first it was because of physical fear of men. I would go into immediate freeze or flight as soon as I was alone with them. I've been the victim of several assaults from different men and felt they were always hurting me either physically or mentally."

    "But now, it's more than that. I treasure the woman I have become, the strength I grew from surviving what I did, and now, I am too proud of this woman I struggled to be to share her. Marriage is about compromise, and I don't want to compromise or sacrifice one iota of who she is for a relationship with a man. Maybe that makes me selfish, but she is incredibly resilient, beautiful, and still a little fragile. I want to love and treasure just myself for a while; it took me a long time to get here." 


    10. "I just have never cared about it. As an atheist, I have no religious reason to get married. The whole tax incentive thing never seemed like a good enough reason to commit yourself to another person. I also really, really, REALLY hate dating. It's the worst."

    "Plus, I enjoy having the freedom to make major life decisions for myself without taking anybody else's feelings or opinions into account." 


    person traveling alone

    11. "Quite simply: I love my life already. I love my routine. I love my little house that wouldn't be big enough for two people to live in. I love not having to share my bed (seriously, I can't stand sleeping in the same bed with someone else), but mostly, I love the freedom that comes with not having to incorporate a spouse's opinion/needs/wants/etc. into decisions I make. It is fully MY life. I have plenty of friends, family, hobbies, rescue pets, goals, dreams, etc. — marriage just isn't something I've ever felt like I needed or wanted."


    12. "I have so much debt because of student loans. I love my partner, but I would never want them to risk not being able to buy a home or take out their own loan(s) because of how much debt I have."


    person reading bills and looking stressed

    13. "I think I would cheat. I know that’s horrible to say, but just the thought of being committed to one person forever makes my skin crawl. I know I would feel trapped no matter how amazing my partner would be. Best to dodge the bullet and save someone else from pain and betrayal."


    14. "I've had two long-term relationships that ended in me being cheated on. Both times, I had to work really hard to pick up the pieces of my life and put myself back together again. Going through a divorce and separating two legally and financially entwined lives would be even harder. I'm also not prepared to risk myself again. I finally have a home I like, although it is rented. I get disability benefits, which is just about enough for me to live on, and I have a nice, quiet, simple life. Someone would have to be almost perfect for me to even consider dating again, but I will never live with someone again, let alone marry them."


    person cheating on their partner

    15. "Mainly, my boyfriend and I have been together happily for over a decade. We bought a house together. What would change? Some status on a piece of paper? No thanks, not really our thing."

    "We're also not into the whole 'wedding' thing. The wedding industry up-charges the dumbest things to an astronomical amount for the sole fact the word "wedding" is attached to it. I know you can elope or go to the justice of the peace, but nothing would change between us. It wouldn't make us stronger or happier after being together for as long as we've been. No need to change what good thing we have." 


    16. "On my grandfather's deathbed, he told my grandmother about his other family. I was a young child. Now, I tell men I don't believe in monogamy. They think it's cool until they fall in love or lust or like. ... Then, everything I want disappears, and my agency is as nonexistent as dear grandma's."


    elderly woman with a sick elderly man in a hospital bed

    17. "For me, it begs the question: How can I be expected to care for and about someone else so fully when I cannot do that for myself?"

    Margann Laurissa

    18. "Marriage was like an anchor chaining me to my abuser and drowning me in his poor choices. My ex was abusive in every way; he was sentenced to a year in jail for the physical abuse. And I still had to pay to divorce him. Oh, also, I was on the hook for the credit cards he stopped paying on, too. It all added insult to injury. Screw that. I don't need the government or creditors involved in my intimate relationships. I've been with my partner for 11 years now. Life is great, but we'll never get married. I'm still resentful of how harmful being legally and financially attached was for me."


    couple fighting with their arms crossed

    19. "The truth is I would rather break up than get divorced. Every divorce I have seen has been expensive and messy. I have seen amicable and EASIER breakups."


    20. "I've never seen the appeal of getting married. I don't want children, and I enjoy my freedom and being only responsible for myself. I can make last-minute travel decisions or spend the day in bed watching Netflix if I want. It's a very liberating sense of freedom. I don't have to worry about sharing finances if the other person isn't on the same page as I am with savings goals, etc."


    a person in bed eating popcorn and watching tv

    21. "Personally, I always felt like it ruined dating and relationships for me. To go out with someone and have the end goal of marriage always be in the picture made it really hard to make connections that I found to be rooted in honesty. It always felt like I was making decisions to be with someone for the wrong reason, just to get married."

    "When I decided that wasn’t right for me, it made dating way easier because I didn’t feel like there was an end goal and I could decide to be with someone just because I wanted to be! I’m not saying people date just to get married, but for me, it always felt like this weird underlying box to check off, and once I decided I wasn’t going to do it, dating became way easier and way less stressful." 


    22. "I have been married; did the whole house, kids, dog, and then divorced all before I was 28 years old. The person in my life now completes me so fully, and we are not married. It makes me question what the point of marriage actually is. If I can be this happy without the marriage, then that is enough for me. :)"


    happy couple on the couch together