1. You love dinner parties, but you're terrified of house parties.
So we're just going to go to a house and stand around and talk to strangers and there will be lots and lots of people everywhere?
2. You can work a crowd like anyone else, but at the end of the night you need some serious alone time.
3. You get super bashful when people sing happy birthday to you at restaurants.
Oh no Zooey, play it cool, can't let the extroverts discover that we're secretly shy!
4. You may have a lot of friends but you spend 95% of your time with your closest two or three BFFs.
Because they're the people you can really let your hair down with.
5. You try hard to be extra-friendly when meeting new people...
Maybe if I smile a lot they won't sense that I'm secretly super nervous about this!
6. And though you always seem ~ready to go~ on the outside, on the inside you're like:
Eeeeeeeeeeee.
7. When the weekend rolls around, you're expected to go out. But you're secretly looking forward to staying in and watching The Good Wife.
It's not that you're anti-social, you just love being social by yourself.
8. Your favorite luxury is spending time with the person you know best.
Oh yes, me time.
9. When people talk about how much they need to be around other people, you're like:
"Need" is such a strong word!
10. When you confess that you're an introvert, your friends are like, "No way, you're so outgoing."
No, really guys, I live inside my head. I know what I am.
11. And you're like, "On the OUTSIDE."
Fooled ya!
12. Whenever you're out, there's always a part of you that's sort of looking ahead to social hour ending.
Bubble bath time soon. Mmm.
13. ... because you can only really ~process your day~ when you have some time to yourself.
It's how you recharge.
14. When you're out with your friends who are genuine extroverts, you're wowed by their magic.
How can you enjoy small talk so much?!
15. Sometimes you let all the text messages in your phone pile up...
Ermmm.
16. Because read receipts are the enemy.
These extroverts... they think I'm one of them...
17. You have a whole little pep talk you give yourself before going out and getting ~extroverted~ for the night.
Heeeeeere we go, champion! We are NOT shy!
18. But sometimes when your friends come over to chill before a night out, you kind of wish you could all just stay in.
Wouldn't that be nice, guys? Wouldn't it? OK, wait up, let me get my purse.