Hey, I'm Jen, and I was 11 years old when Lizzie McGuire first premiered in 2001. It was a very important part of my adolescence, obviously.
In honor of the launch of Disney+, I decided to rewatch the first episode of Lizzie McGuire for the first time since middle school. Here are all my thoughts:
1. The pilot of the series is actually an episode called "Rumors," aka the one where Lizzie accidentally starts a war with Kate by spreading a rumor that she stuffs her bra.
(UPDATE: Thanks to some great commenters, I've been told that the actual pilot episode of the show was 1x04 "Pool Party" but "Rumors" is the one that aired first. Thanks for letting me know!)
2. The episode almost immediately introduces us to cartoon Lizzie, and thus IMMEDIATELY sent me straight back to middle school.
3. It goes without saying that Miranda's hair on this show is so unbelievably iconic. The pom poms! The braids! I'm living.
4. "Any group activity that forces others to be happy is by nature evil" — Gordo's first line of the series. I don't think I ever quite realized how much I relate to Gordo until right now.
5. The credits rolled with a "skip intro" option, which seems like the absolute last thing I would ever do.
6. Who knew Lizzie McGuire was the original SpongeBob meme and legitimately invented tHiS wAY oF WritInG?
7. Lizzie says, "I'm outie, book report due tomorrow. I haven't even finished the book."
8. It turns out Lizzie McGuire also invented lists. This show was genuinely so clever, and I forgot about all these little fun asides and graphics throughout each episode.
9. This Paul Frank shirt SENT ME BACK…
10. …but nothing made me feel more nostalgic than THIS COMPUTER DESKTOP:
11. I heard the chime of this IM being received, and I swear I had a Pavlovian reaction and felt like I, too, was sitting on AIM waiting for my crush to log on.
12. Miranda sending this IM to "CLASS ROSTER" is the earliest example I can think of of the incredible teen TV trope of accidentally mass sending a message to everyone you know. This TV trope legitimately ruined my life and made me fearful of technology from a young age.
13. Let's also take a moment to observe this incredible Screen Name, "PoopyHead":
14. I'm 30 years old, and somehow still inexplicably intimidated by Kate Sanders.
15. THIS. FUCKING. BACKPACK. I have chills.
16. Uh, why were we all fixated on Ethan Craft when this Danny Kessler guy was over here EXISTING????
17. No offense, but I forgot that I used to mostly zone out during Matt's scenes (except for the ones with Lanny) and it turns out I still do.
18. This is way harsh of Kate, but omg that clip art! The colored paper! Like Celine Dion, the era of printers is all coming back to me now.
19. Miranda sabotaging Kate's hairspray walked so Janis Ian cutting Regina George's tank top COULD FLY.
20. I wanted a reading nook like this SO BAD.
21. DITTO THIS CAMO BAG.
22. I still get secondhand anxiety/embarrassment from the "LIZZIE, LIZZIE, BIG LOSER" cheer that Kate and the cheerleaders did at the end of the episode.
23. But the thing I love most about the show is that Miranda and Gordo are just such damn good friends. It's so pure, and it really does emphasize the point that life can be kinda shitty but it's a lot less shitty with good people around you.
So does Lizzie McGuire still hold up? 100% yes. It sent me right back to middle school and I still managed to feel everything that Lizzie felt throughout the episode. And I, for one, cannot wait to see grownup Lizzie next year!
