I Rewatched "Game Of Thrones" Season 1, Episode 5 And Had Some Thoughts
Needs more Jon Snow. Warning: contains Season 6 spoilers.
1. Oh, the tourney is still happening.
2. Ned has his investigator cap on.
3. I love the banter between Ned and Ser Barristan.
4. "I'm glad we never met on the field, Ser Barristan. As is my wife. I don't think the widow's life would suit her." Honestly, how fucking dare you, Game of Thrones. This is too much.
5. Robert, stop bullying Lancel, this won't end well.
6. I love Ned telling it like it is.
7. Poor Lancel, how long do you think he searched for that breastplate stretcher?
8. Maybe that's why he really went down into the tunnels in Season 6. He thought the little bird might finally lead him to the great mystery of his life: the missing breastplate stretcher.
9. Ned is so done with Robert's shit.
10. LORAS! He looks so glorious. Sob.
11. I loved Loras and Renly together.
12. "You could even buy a friend." OMG Renly is savage @ Littlefinger.
13. "And tell me Lord Renly, when will you be having your friend." Well, that was more blatant than I remember.
14. Ned giving Littlefinger that "get your fucking hand off my daughter" look is giving me life.
15. Gosh, I wish he were still around to do that. Jon will have to instead.
16. The Mountain 1.0 looked so different.
17. Him killing that horse is horrifying. I feel ill.
18. The Hound to the rescue! How did I ever think he was a bad guy?
19. Oh right, three episodes ago, when he killed the butcher's boy.
20. This taste of Cleganebowl just reignites my HYPE. Season 7, make it happen.
21. I see you, Tyrion, subtly sending Bronn a message to save you for that $$$$$.
22. Tyrion is BRUTAL using that shield as a weapon. Jon Snow wasn't the first to do it.
23. Nice history lesson courtesy of cranky Bran and Maester Luwin.
24. Bran is so mad at Catelyn for leaving. Poor bb. They'll never see each other again. SOB.
25. First dick shot of the series! And it's Theon's. Way to rub it in, guys.
26. Ugh, Theon was such a douche in the early days.
27. Varys has been waiting his whole life to deliver this DOOM speech.
28. Is Varys actively trying to get Ned killed by feeding him this information or is he really trying to help him?
29. Oh right, he is trying to pit the Starks and the Lannisters against each other to make way for the Targaryens. So glad Illyrio showed up so Varys could explain it all to him.
30. What IS Illyrio up to these days in the show universe?
31. I was so confused about why Varys went along with trying to have Daenerys killed in Season 1, considering he's Team Khaleesi these days. But now I get it: llyrio tells him Drogo won't invade Westeros until his son is born. Varys tries to eliminate that little impediment because he wants Drogo to hurry up. Daenerys was expendable to him back then.
32. Meanwhile Littlefinger is just staring at the Iron Throne. He's definitely picturing himself up there. I wonder if Sansa is in his pretty picture yet. (She better not be, that creeper.)
33. I love Varys and Littlefinger's interactions. Always trying to one-up each other. I hope we get to see them go head to head in Season 7.
34. Ned placing a protective arm around Arya is killing me. Again.
35. OK, but why is Robert so freaked out about Daenerys having a son when literally Viserys is still hanging around. Doesn't he have more claim to the throne than Dany's unborn child?
36. "If the Dothraki invade, how many innocents will die? How many towns will burn?" *Everyone in Westeros looks around nervously*
37. Ned taking off that pin and slamming it down is an epic mic drop moment.
38. He is definitely thinking about Jon as much as Dany right now.
39. "I'll have your head on a spike!" OH, FUCKING HELL, GUYS.
40. No, Ned. Don't listen to Littlefinger. GO BACK TO WINTERFELL RIGHT NOW.
41. Lysa and her breastfed grown-ass son are still so off-putting.
42. "I've made a huge mistake." – Cat rn
43. The Eyrie prison is so scary!
44. "It's not a gift. No one gave it to me. I'm good because I work at it." Loras' attitude is actually quite inspiring.
45. Aaand Loras just put the idea of being king into Renly's head. We all know how that ended.
46. "I've never fought in a war before. But I'd fight for you." That's quite romantic, actually.
47. Loras just said Tommen is 8. We'll just pretend not to notice how his age doesn't match up in later seasons, shall we?
48. Cersei and Robert's scenes together are so great. Especially this one.
49. "[If] the Dothraki horde crosses the narrow sea, we won't be able to stop them." *gulp*
50. "It's a neat little trick you do. You move your lips and your father's voice comes out." One of the greatest lines of the series.
51. Robert paints a very scary picture of the Dothraki. Daenerys, how are you going to control your crew?
52. I wonder if Cersei will remember Robert's "one army" lesson when Dany comes knocking at her door. And what the hell she's going to do about it.
53. I love that Robert and Cersei are laughing and toasting to how much they truly hate each other.
54. Every time Lyanna or Rhaegar are mentioned, I sit up straighter and start paying way more attention.
55. "What harm could Lyanna Stark's ghost do to either of us…?" Just wait until her son's Ghost gets his claws on you, Cersei.
56. (Oh my god, I hope that happens, it would be a nice, full circle, considering Cersei's first kill of the series is Sansa's direwolf.)
57. (But also I'm pretty attached to the Jaime-as-valonqar theory.)
58. (Basically, someone just needs to kill Cersei, and soon.)
59. "You want to know the horrible truth? I can't even remember what she looked like. I only know she was the one thing I ever wanted. Someone took her away from me. And seven kingdoms couldn't fill the hole she left behind." Amazing speech, amazing delivery, amazing scene.
60. Cersei mentioning losing their first boy to Robert confirms that she wasn't making up that story she told Cat in Episode 2.
61. Uh oh, here comes trouble. Littlefinger totally deliberately delayed Ned so Jaime would have the chance to seize him.
62. Don't pretend to care, you bastard.
63. JORY, NOOOOO. What a brutal death.
64. Jaime seems like such a jerk here, especially because he's attacking our precious Ned, but really he just wants to save his brother.
65. I love the look of horror on his face when his guard attacks Ned from behind. He didn't want to take him down in such a dishonourable way after all.
66. Seeing Ned in so much pain and knowing what's to come hurts so much. Why am I rewatching this again?
67. Ohh, the next episode is "A Golden Crown". ONE DEATH I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO.