40 Signs You’re A Binge Thinker

Your brain is a jerk and it tortures you for fun. Such is the life of a chronic overthinker.

1. You agonise for hours over what to wear on a date and change outfits about 132 times.

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2. When your date compliments you, you freak out that they only want to get into your pants.

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3. But if they don’t compliment you, it must mean you look like something your cat coughed up.

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4. When you go out for dinner, it takes half an hour to choose what you want off the menu.

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5. And when your meal comes, you have instant food regret and wish you’d made another choice.

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6. You worry that even the tiniest slip up will give the universe the opportunity to make you suffer, so you do everything you can to guard against it.

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7. Every time you get a headache – CANCER!

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8. Your back is really sore – CANCER!

9. You’re getting chest pains – HEART ATTACK! Wait, no, definitely cancer.

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10. Your Google search history looks something like this.

11. You hate that you’re an overthinker. It’s stressful. If only you could find a way to get rid of this bad habit.

12. Thinking about it will most definitely help.

13. You’re a super cautious person, and like to be sure of something before you take the leap.

14. Some nights you don’t get any sleep, coz your brain decides it’s the perfect time to remind you of all the mistakes you made that day.

15. And every mistake you’ve ever made in your life, for that matter.

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16. It can take you an hour to compose a tweet, because you’re so afraid people will think you’re lame.

17. If nobody responds when you finally do post it, you immediately delete it. Because obviously people DO think you’re lame.

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18. When you ask what someone is thinking, and they say “nothing”, they must be lying. That’s not actually possible, right?

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19. If someone you care about is running late, you imagine approximately 457 ways they might be dead.

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20. When you make a mistake at work, you're sure you're going to get fired.

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21. If your significant other annoys you, you spend the rest of the day stressing over whether you’re really meant to be together.

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22. Going on holidays is good in theory, but you can never shake that uneasy feeling that you’re wasting time.

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23. Are you really getting the most out of it? Could you be holidaying better? Oh God now you’re just ruining it by stressing.

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24. Sometimes you’ll just be going about your day, totally fine, and then BAM, that embarrassing thing you did when you were 17 will hit you.

25. Losing a follower on Tumblr means you spend the next hour going back through your own posts, trying to figure out what you did wrong.

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26. You see a job you think you’d love - but what if it’s a huge mistake? You might hate it.

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27. Then again, you might love it. OK, you’ll apply…

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28. Turns out you spent so long deliberating that the deadline has passed and you missed out.

29. Talking to your super successful friend sends you into a shame spiral over what’s wrong in your life.

30. You spend a significant portion of your time wishing things in the past might have been different. Coz even if they turned out well, you can’t help but wonder “What if?”

31. Not knowing what’s going to happen in the future kills you.

32. Will you ever get married? Or will you be forever alone?

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33. What if you never want kids? What if you have kids and you hate them? What if you have kids and they hate you?!

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34. What if you can never afford to buy a house?

35. What if you die tomorrow? Oh shit you're going to die someday.

36. Now you're in full-blown panic mode.

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37. But most of the problems you worry about only exist in your head.

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38. When everything turns out OK, as it often does, you get that sweet, sweet flood of relief.

39. You feel calm.

40. At least until you remember that stupid thing you did when you were eight.

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Jenna Guillaume is Editor-at-Large for BuzzFeed and is based in Sydney.
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