Episode 1: "Two Swords"
1. Oooh a cold open. And it’s ICE! Why am I so hurt by a goddamn sword being destroyed?
2. RAINS OF CASTAMERE. TRIGGERED.
3. Jaime’s had a haircut. I still prefer his Prince Charming hair tbh.
4. Good to see Tywin is cruel even to his favourite child.
5. OBERYN, MY PRINCE.
6. OMG Oberyn is triggered more than I am at the Rains of Castamere.
7. Same, Ellaria, same.
8. “And beautiful, noble Rhaegar Targaryen left her for another woman.” My R+L=J senses are tingling.
9. Oh, how I wish Oberyn got his revenge.
10. The dragons are tweens!
11. Daario 2.0! What a babe.
12. Sansa is too depressed for lemon cakes. My heart hurts.
13. Jaime’s got his golden hand! And Cersei has her Qyburn.
14. Cersei is so mean to Jaime, after everything he did to get back to her. Jaime, just ditch her right now! You can do it!
15. I fucking hate Thenns too, Tormund.
16. Oh no. I can’t cope with Jon Snow talking about Robb.
17. “I’ve done plenty wrong.” Iconic Jon moment.
18. There’s that dead sparrow joke from Margaery. Way too real.
19. Ser Duncan the Tall reference for prequel fans.
20. Joffrey, you leave Jaime alone.
21. Dany has no time for Daario's flowers. Meanwhile the blue rose just makes me think of Lyanna Stark.
22. I love how Brienne is challenging Jaime to keep his vow to Catelyn.
23. “Are you sure we’re not related?” That’s practically a pick-up line from Jaime.
24. I flinch at Arya saying "no one".
25. The scenes between Arya and the Hound are the best part of both their storylines, tbh.
26. Why yes, the Hound WOULD die for some chickens. He’d definitely kill for them.
27. Arya’s revenge continues. Gruesome. Perfect.
28. And she has Needle again! AND a horse!
29. And the Hound has his chicken. <3 <3 <3
Episode 2: "The Lion And The Rose"
30. Oh no. Ramsay is hunting.
31. Can’t wait to see those hounds rip HIM apart.
32. Ah, Bronn and Jaime finally meet. I love their dynamic.
33. “I place far too much trust in you.” True, Roose. True.
34. “If Bran and Rickon are alive, the country will rally to their sides.” That sound you hear is me sob-laughing. I’m not over Rickon.
35. And now I’m just plain sobbing over Theon finding out about Robb’s death like this.
36. The excitement at seeing Joffrey get what’s coming to him is somewhat dampened knowing that Ramsay sticks around for awhile and he is somehow SO MUCH WORSE.
37. Ohhh why didn’t Shae just leave?! He was trying to save you!
38. Mel, Stannis and Selyse burning people alive again. Including family. What happened to Shireen was consistent with their actions, unfortunately.
39. OMG Shireen giving Melisandre lip about the sacrifices is simultaneously giving me life and breaking my heart.
40. Bran has been hit with the puberty stick all over again.
41. Margaery’s wedding look is truly iconic.
42. Yep. I definitely ship Olenna and Tywin.
43. Bronn saw Shae leave on that ship so… did she just sail right back?
44. “Killing a man at a wedding… horrid. What sort of monster would do such a thing?” I see you, Olenna, you goddamn shady queen.
45. Oh I just noticed bb Tommen 2.0 is here.
46. CLINK. I heard that. Oh this is gonna be good.
47. This is such an emo version of Rains of Castamere. Joffrey getting them to stop is the best thing he ever did.
48. Sexuality: Oberyn Martell eating.
49. Loras’ comeback at Jaime’s threat about Cersei is so good.
50. I am here for Margaery sticking up for Brienne.
51. Lolol @ Jaime’s “oh shit” face when he sees Cersei talking to Brienne.
52. “In truth he rescued me, your grace. More than once.”... “You love him.” My heart!
53. I love all the conversations where there are so many layers and veiled threats in the banter, like this one with Oberyn and the Lannisters.
54. Poor Loras. Poor Sansa. Poor Tyrion.
55. Tyrion’s refusal to kneel before Joffrey makes him kneeling for Dany later all the more powerful.
56. Joffrey’s death is so hideous, yet so beautiful.
57. RUN TYRION. RUN.
Episode 3: "Breaker Of Chains"
58. Yes Sansa! Be free! Except ugh, straight into Littlefinger’s slimy, manipulative clutches.
59. Poor Ser Dontos.
60. “What is a good king’s single most important quality?” “Holiness?” Oh bb Tommen. No, no, no.
61. You know, if Tywin hadn’t died, the High Sparrow wouldn’t have been able to get the power he did. So like, half of King’s Landing would still be alive.
62. I hate this scene. It is so inconsistent with Jaime’s character growth. I know the creators said it was meant to be consensual but they did a piss-poor job of showing it.
63. “The gods will have their vengeance.” Nah. But Arya will.
64. “You’re the worst shit in the Seven Kingdoms.” Iconic line.
65. It’s so upsetting what the Hound does to this nice man and his daughter.
66. “I will not be a page in someone else’s history book.” Awks, Stannis.
67. Just gonna savour all these Shireen and Davos scenes as much as possible.
68. Goddamn Oberyn is hot. I wish he was around for more than one season.
69. Tyrion is so shook that Sansa fled. I really can’t wait to see how their reunion plays out, if it ever happens.
70. Tyrion protecting Pod, and Pod getting emotional at saying goodbye, is making ME emotional. God I hope these two reunite in Season 7, too.
71. Uh-oh, here comes Olly.
72. Look I don’t blame him for his wildling hate after witnessing all this. But I still can’t forgive him for Jon.
73. OK, OK, I do feel sorry for Olly here. Poor kid.
74. GRENN! EDD! I’m so glad they’re OK. (For now.)
75. This pissing competition to be Dany’s champion is making me laugh. And she’s like “you’re all too important to me… except you Daario.”
76. Daaaaamn Daario. Dany was into that. (Same.)
77. OK I’m not so into the peeing.
78. *Masters look around nervously*.
79. You gotta hand it to Dany, launching the broken collars into Meereen was a good PR move.
Episode 4: "Oathkeeper"
80. I LOVE Grey Worm and Missandei. Their scenes together are so lovely. I hope they make it out of this OK (lol I know, I know).
81. Ooft. Dany’s retribution sure is brutal. I wonder if Ser Barristan is getting flashbacks to her father.
82. “That was me knocking your ass to the dirt with your own hand.” I love Bronn.
83. “Are you really asking if I killed your son?” “Are you really asking if I’d kill my brother?” Don’t mind me, I’m just over here, crying over Tyrion and Jaime’s relationship.
84. “Sansa’s not a killer. Not yet anyway.” You should see her now, Tyrion.
85. Look at Sansa, figuring everything out, my queen.
86. Littlefinger makes my skin crawl.
87. “Who could trust you?” INDEED SANSA. Listen to your instincts. Do not trust him.
88. Yas Olenna. She could get it.
89. “I was the best archer in our hamlet.” OK yeah I’m starting to hate Olly again.
90. I can’t decide who in this scene I hate most - Locke, Janos Slynt, Thorne… or Olly.
91. Cersei and Jaime are already disagreeing about so much. If Jaime doesn’t break from her completely in Season 7, I’m gonna be so damn mad.
92. BB TOMMEN. He is so out of his depth with Margaery. It is rather off-putting.
93. SER POUNCE. Still need to know the fate of him.
94. Jaime giving Brienne his sword is very Freudian.
95. I love the fact he wanted to use the steel from Ned Stark’s sword to defend Ned’s daughters.
96. This armour is like the best present Brienne has ever received. Well, except Podrick, of course.
97. Ahhhhh this farewell scene makes me emotional. It’s so beautifully done. Everything is said in their looks.
98. Jon wanting to drop everything to protect Bran north of the Wall is also making me emotional. Gah, everything on this goddamn show makes me emotional.
99. Like this scene of Jon, trying to convince the Night’s Watch to go to Craster’s to kill the mutineers and avenge Jeor Mormont’s death because he was stabbed by traitors, which is emotional for both Mormont’s sake and for the foreshadowing of Jon’s storyline. Goddamn goddamn.
100. Thorne was not expecting that.
101. The skull! Oh god. NOT OK.
102. JEOR DESERVED BETTER.
103. Also, ugh, Craster’s wives. Awful, awful, awful.
104. It’s kinda odd that Gilly never spared a second thought for her family. You’d think she must have been close to some of them.
105. How did that baby not die from the cold before ever reaching the Night King?
106. GHOST. SUMMER.
107. You leave Hodor alone, you pack of shits!
108. How long does it take a Craster baby to grow into an adult White Walker?
109. Who raises the children? Are there any female White Walkers?
110. I have a lot of questions.
Episode 5: "First Of His Name"
111. I feel sick watching Tommen be crowned. This really, really won’t end well. Like “long may he reign”, yeesh.
112. That Cersei cock-block, lmao.
113. It’s so interesting to hear Cersei talk about how Joffrey shocked and horrified her, but she loved him anyway.
114. Oh. I didn’t remember her actively wanting Margaery to marry Tommen. What is she up to?
115. Dany looks so beautiful in this scene. Her wig is on point.
116. Even though I hate this storyline, at least she recognises that just being a Targaryen isn’t a good enough reason to be the ruler of Westeros.
117. Looks like Robyn finally stopped breastfeeding.
118. This must be such a nice moment for Sansa. Too bad her aunt is batshit.
119. Lol. Nothing like a little exposition to explain how Littlefinger literally caused this whole mess.
120. Why is Cersei suddenly so willing to have the Tyrell weddings take place?
121. CLEGANEBOWL HYPE.
122. I ship Sansa and lemon cakes.
123. That’s Sansa’s “oh shit” face.
124. Hahahhahahha Podrick trying to ride a horse. Brienne is so over it. I love watching their relationship develop.
125. I see you Locke, trying to keep Jon away from those wolves.
126. Bran and Jon were SO CLOSE to being together again. Please, please, please let them reunite in Season 7.
127. I'm not sorry to see these scum mutineers and Locke die.
128. At least Jon reunited with Ghost here.
Episode 6: "The Laws Of Gods And Men"
129. The end of the show is gonna be the guys from the Iron Bank arriving in Westeros to collect their money, and everyone is gonna be dead.
130. Yara is very good at speeches.
131. Theon, go with her! Run!
132. Ugh, fuck Ramsay.
133. Dany is learning that ruling is not all it cracked up to be.
134. Varys has adopted Littlefinger’s habit of just staring at the Iron Throne.
135. Tyrion loved Tommen so much. Look at his face, telling him, “I understand”. Gah!
136. All those threats against Joffrey have officially come back to bite Tyrion on the bum.
137. Jaime is basically choosing Tyrion over Cersei here and it’s very important to me.
138. Unfortunately he’s played right into Tywin’s hands.
139. SHAE HOW DARE YOU.
140. I’m furious.
141. So is Tyrion.
142. This is an amazing outburst from Tyrion, even though I’m watching it in mild horror.
Episode 7: "Mockingbird"
143. This is such a good scene between Jaime and Tyrion. Every scene between them is.
144. Ah, the Mountain killing people for fun. As you do.
145. “Nothing could be worse than this,” Arya says, leaving the Hound in exactly this state later.
146. She’s learning a lot from him in the meantime.
147. Thorne is so pissed Jon came back.
148. I probably shouldn’t be mad at Bronn for allowing himself to be paid off by Cersei, when even Tyrion isn’t. But I still kinda am.
149. “Take off your clothes.” Best command Dany has ever given.
150. Daario 2.0 is *Italian chef kiss*.
151. There’s a lot of nudity in this episode.
152. I still want to know if Melisandre’s lack of necklace in this scene is supposed to mean something, or it’s just inconsistency.
153. “When we set sail your daughter must be with us. The lord needs her.” Fuck. Did Melisandre and Selyse know they’d burn Shireen back then? Fucking hell.
154. Daario you cocky shit.
155. “The worst thing was it was my brother who did it, and my father who protected him.” And here is the part where the Hound makes me cry.
156. Hot Pie! “People with armour are usually knights.” “Winterhell.” Hot Pie, don’t you learn?
157. OK, OK, you learnt how to create better bread wolves.
158. Smug Brienne is the best.
159. “It is rare to meet a Lannister who shares my enthusiasm for dead Lannisters.” Oberyn is always good value.
160. Peter Dinklage is heartbreaking in this scene.
161. “If you want justice, you’ve come to the wrong place.” True though.
162. “I will be your champion.” Such a triumphant moment. Such a GRRM thing to twist it into something awful later.
163. Sansa building Winterfell out of snow while the Stark theme plays is messing me up.
164. TALK SHIT GET HIT.
165. You’re a liar Littlefinger, you hurt Cat the most, you prick.
166. “You might have been my child,” he says before kissing her. THE FUCKING CREEP.
167. I love the way this contrasts with his attempt to kiss her in Season 6, when she pushes him away. She’s grown so much.
168. “I have only loved one woman in my entire life. Your sister.” The Lysa drop is the new mic drop.
Episode 8: "The Mountain And The Viper"
169. I love this Night’s Watch crew so much.
170. Hello yes I am here for the Unsullied bath time.
171. I ship Missandei and Grey Worm so hard.
172. I have well and truly had enough of Ramsay’s torture of Theon.
173. I feel sick.
174. Sansa don’t lie for Littlefinger. Run to Yohn Royce! He’ll protect you!
175. Yohn’s reaction to the prospect of Littlefinger kissing Sansa is the same as mine.
176. Uh-oh Jorah, you’re busted.
177. Dany can’t even look at him. What a scene.
178. Ramsay being named a Bolton was so important to him. Makes Sansa’s “your name will be forgotten” even more satisfying.
179. “You’re not a child any longer.” SHE IS, LITTLEFINGER, KEEP YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF OF HER.
180. I love how Arya just laughs when she finds out Lysa is dead. What else can she do at this point?
181. “People die at their dinner tables, they die in their beds, they die squatting over their chamber pots.” I see you, writers.
182. This is a very powerful moment for Sansa, but its promise was not delivered on in the following season.
183. It’s so interesting the way Jaime mentions cousin killing. It seems his actions when he was a captive still play on his mind.
184. Oh boy. Oh no. I am NOT ready for this scene.
185. “You could at least wear a helmet.” YES OBERYN. LISTEN TO TYRION.
186. I feel sick. I feel so sick.
187. Damn Oberyn is good. If he wasn’t such a show-off he might still be alive.
188. He goes full Inigo Montoya. If only he was as successful as Inigo.
189. Yes Oberyn. Let him die. Finish him off!
190. OK I actually can NOT watch this scene. My hands are covering my eyes right now.
191. Oh god, the sound is bad enough.
192. Oberyn. :( :( :(
193. I remember when I first watched this scene, I vowed I was giving up on Game of Thrones.
194. LOL look how that turned out.
Episode 9: "The Watchers On The Wall"
195. God I need a break after that last episode. Not to go straight into an Episode 9.
196. “I don’t know, I’m not a bleedin’ poet!” Iconic.
197. I kind of love the theory that the bear Tormund fucked was actually Maege Mormont.
198. Reason #467 Game of Thrones has made me cry: Maester Aemon talking about the past.
199. Sweary Sam is so unexpected. I love it.
200. That is a big fucking fire.
201. This battle sequence is so damn good.
202. Look I hate Thorne, but he is being a great leader here.
203. Ugh I can’t wait to see the end of Janos Slynt.
204. Smart thinking, Grenn, sending Slynt away.
205. Sexuality: Jon Snow leading his men into battle.
206. The use of Ygritte’s breathing to show her emotional state is really effective.
207. Sassy Sam is my fave Sam.
208. RIP PYP. :(
209. No Sam, don’t tell Olly to use a weapon. Goddammit.
210. I know I’m rooting for the Night’s Watch, but it’s sad to see that giant go down.
211. Jon is putting Edd in charge, and not for the last time.
212. Grenn leading the other men in the Night’s Watch oath as they hold the gate gives me goosebumps.
213. “I need him more than I need you.” See, Jon needed Ghost in this battle, yet he never took him into the Battle of the Bastards. SOUNDS FAKE BUT OK.
214. I mean, there are even giants in this episode too, which was the excuse as to why Ghost wasn’t in BotB.
215. I’m still bitter about it, is what I’m saying.
216. Meanwhile that tracking shot is A++.
217. Oh no. Ygritte and Jon have locked eyes. Here come the tears again.
218. FUCKING OLLY.
219. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here weeping.
220. GRENN. :(
221. “They held the gate.” Aaaand I’m weeping again.
Episode 10: "The Children"
222. Jon looks so dead behind the eyes. Kit Harington did a great job of subtly showing his grief for Ygritte.
223. STANNIS THE MANNIS IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY.
224. DAVOS AND JON ARE MEETING YAS.
225. Jon talking about Ned is making me emotional for the 1000th time today.
226. And we finally shift back to King’s Landing after over an episode in the north.
227. The Zombie Mountain is born.
228. “I will burn our house to the ground before I let that happen.” Yep, yep, you will Cersei. And you end up losing Tommen anyway.
229. Cersei I see you, you manipulative biatch.
230. Even Dany is sick of hearing all of her titles by this point.
231. This man who lost his little girl to Drogon is heartbreaking.
232. But it’s so unfair that the other two dragons get punished for Drogon’s actions.
233. Their screams as Dany walks away are tearing me apart. It’s so unfair!
234. Melisandre spotting Jon through the flames. FORESHADOWING.
235. What’s left of my heart has just been ripped to shreds by Jon’s private funeral for Ygritte.
236. Oh good. Bran and co. are at the old Weirwood tree where so many good things will happen. (SARCASM ALERT IN CASE THAT’S NOT OBVIOUS.)
237. Jesus this wight attack on Hodor is way too close to his actual death scene. TOO SOON.
238. Bye Jojen. :(
239. The Children to the rescue!
240. They look so different here to how they appeared in Season 6.
241. And so does the Three Eyed Raven.
242. “You’ll never walk again. But you will fly.” Gonna see this come to fruition in Season 7, I reckon.
243. I hope Brienne and Arya get to team up at some point. They are such kindred spirits. This small moment of bonding is brilliant.
244. The Hound fighting to protect Arya, even when he’s got no one left to sell her to, means so much.
245. This fight is fucking brutal.
246. I’m so glad Arya couldn’t bring herself to kill the Hound. This is another reunion we need to see.
247. Jaime rescuing Tyrion fills my heart with joy.
248. Their farewell! There’s just dust in my eyes this time.
249. No Tyrion! Flee now! Don’t go up there.
250. I hate watching him kill Shae. It makes me so uncomfortable.
251. Watching him kill Tywin, on the other hand, is pretty damn great.
252. For once I am enjoying the Rains of Castamere.
253. I love how Varys is just like “welp, yep, I’m out.”
254. And Arya is off to Braavos. The last time I’ll enjoy her storyline for nearly two seasons.
255. That was such a good season. We’re so close to new episodes now! But first: I rewatch 5 and 6 next week.