37 Hilarious Responses To Knighthoods Being Brought Back To Australia

Prime Minister Tony Abbott made a big announcement today: for the first time since 1986, “pre-eminent” Australians will be honoured as knights and dames.

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Awesome, knightoods are back and bigotry is legal; it's a great day for self-congratulatory powerful people!

— Small God (@TaniaWalker)
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The new cabinet room for Abbott and his ministers

— Wampy (@AussieRock)
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Too easy. #auspol

— brad esposito (@braddybb)
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BREAKING: Australia to start sending its unwanted to an offshore penal col… oh wait.

— Bernard Keane (@BernardKeane)
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seeking asylum to New Zealand because it produces people who declare that they'll never be royals and that is more my style, GOODBYE

— Jennine Abdul Khalik (@jennineak)
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HAHA WE’RE GOING SO FAR BACK IN TIME ABBOTT HAS REINTRODUCED FEUDAL TITLES FUCK OFF #auspol

— Sir Brendan Molloy (@piecritic)
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DAME RANGER STACEY

— Bec (@Brocklesnitch)
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RT @RealNickHodge: Jousting: Australia's new national sport. (Knights only, Dames bring a plate)

— Latika Bourke (@latikambourke)
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Sir Nope.gif

— Luke Hopewell (@lukehopewell)
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See, I just woke up from this hilarious dream where the PM was on telly saying they're bringing back knighthoods. Hilarious.

— Peter Anderson (@zerogeewhiz)
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@latikambourke "A Liberal always repays their debts"?

— Erin (@penorthesword)
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And around Australia, gladioli wilt as Dame Edna Everage dabs at her eyes and prepares some well-meant remarks about our new, "other Dame."

— julia baird (@bairdjulia)
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Sir Rupert Murdoch. Lord of gentle ball-cupping.

— Luke Hopewell (@lukehopewell)
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I for one, welcome my new head of state: Sir Mix-A-Lot. The honorable sir agrees she gotta shake that healthy butt.

— Danny Allen (@Danny_Allen)
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"Your Majesty, we would like to reinstate Knighthoods in the antipodean colonies." "Are you fucking kidding one?"

— ABC Crier Squire (@ABCnewsIntern)
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THE NEXT PM WILL BE WHOEVER CAN PULL THE SWORD FROM THE STONE

— Bec (@Brocklesnitch)
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Tony Abbott has a bold plan to deal with the issues of last century.

— ABC Crier Squire (@ABCnewsIntern)
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BRAVE, BRAVE, BRAVE, BRAVE SIR TONY. #auspol

— Paul Mackay (@plmcky)
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DAME AILSA OF THE FLAMING WIFE RT @Brayds2006 SIR ALF OF FLAMING MONGREL

— VOTE NOW! #Molkies (@MolksTVTalk)
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Look this whole knighthood thing is about creating jobs, bringing back blacksmiths, squires, court jesters

— Serf (@PointZeroOne)
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glad we could finally do something for our struggling pre-eminent people

— chris berg (@chrisberg)
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Knights/ dames falls into policy category of ''I'm going to do it because I'm PM and I can''.

— Michelle Grattan (@michellegrattan)
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Going to the gym tonight. Riding side-saddle on the exercise bike is going to be tricky. #damelyf

— Dame Caitlin Welsh (@Caitlin_Welsh)
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OK OK... Sir Water Buffalo of Newton

— Ray (@agentbrasidas)
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Tony Abbott announces changes to the Australian flag, to fall in line with #knightsanddames

— Poet laureate (@notGareth)
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@earthma23 definitely. For too long the @nrl has had a monopoly on Dragons and Knights.

— Sir Tony Abbott (@sirtonyabbott)
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"Valar morghulis, Tones," Julia Gillard whispers, as the dragon eggs begin to hatch. "Valar morghulis." #gameoftones #knightfight #auspol

— Omar Sakr (@OmarjSakr)
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The Labor Party conference henceforth to be run like The Red Wedding. #GameofTones

— flyderspy (@flyderspy)
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When you play the #GameOfTones you either win or some financial planner steals your super.

— Jess Hodder (@jesshodder)
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Abbott announces that tar and feathering and dunking stool for adulterous females to be reintroduced. #GameofTones

— Paul Dolan (@MrPkD)
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Sir Shane of Warne #knightsanddames

— SoNotBrendan (@SoNotBrendan)
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YOU get a Sir, and YOU get a Sir, and YOU get a Sir! #auspol #knighthoods #arisesirtone #gameoftones

— Sir Michael Sin (@MichaelSin_)

Now all we need is a return to the REAL national anthem.

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Jenna Guillaume is Editor-at-Large for BuzzFeed and is based in Sydney.
 
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