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27 Tweets That Will Make You Laugh For At Least Three Minutes

We've gotta take joy where we can get it.


- Fred, Velma, Shaggy... Can you name one of the 'Big 5' African animals? - Rhino - We know you do, Scooby, but it's not your team's turn



Clark Kent: *sets glasses on kitchen table* Lois Lane: Is that our table? I don't recognize it.


will my husband ever return from the trash


Greeks be like Hereโ€™s your free horse ๐Ÿด___/ /(๐Ÿ˜ˆ)\


Remember when you were little and you'd fall on the trampoline and everyone would keep jumping so you couldn't get back up? That's how adult life feels



For the next week, please only talk to me about Salem walking the red carpet for Chilling Adventures of Sabrina


distance Iโ€™m willing to walk for you: Me ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ“ (500 miles) ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ“ (500 more miles) ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ“your door


Thought Iโ€™d lost the dog there turns out av accidentally put the recliner down on him and heโ€™s been lying inside the couch for an hour no giving a fuck


This is truly one of the worst pieces of home decor I've ever seen.


Flight Attendant: Help! Is there a doctor on board??? Weird Aunt: *holding bottle of lavender essential oils* I have something even better


did an apple cider doughnut write this


went to class today really thinking i had grabbed my computer off the kitchen counter


every white boy in a teen film when someone compliments them: *scoffs* yeah well tell that to my dad.... ๐Ÿ˜”


Do regular dogs see police dogs and say oh shit itโ€™s the cops


God: Now make it hard to store leftover avocado Angel: Why? God: Because โ€ฆ [God pulls off mask and is actually Devil in disguise] Angel: No! Not again! Devil: Peace out, motherfucker. [Devil runs out. God enters] God: So sorry, I thought we said Conference Room 4


If you've ever worried about your professional headshot, take a moment to absorb Victor Hugo's.


how are unicorns fake but giraffes are real like whatโ€™s more believable a horse with a horn or a leopard-moose-camel with a 40 foot neck


My dog just got surgery because he tore a ligament in his knee so they had to shave him and now you can see his lil butt crack


how did chucky manage to murder so many people??? just pick him up and yeet him in the bin. he's a doll


โ•ญ โ—œโ— อก โ—œโ— อก โ—œโ— อก โ—œโ— อก โ—œโ— อก โ—œโ— อก โ•ฎ | AAAAAAAAAA AAAA AA | | AAAAAAA | โ•ฐ โ—Ÿโ—ž อœ โ—Ÿโ—ž อœ โ—Ÿโ—ž อœ โ—Ÿโ—ž อœ โ—Ÿโ—ž อœ โ—Ÿโ—ž อœ โ•ฏ O o ยฐ


Is... is this an improved version of the "Distracted Boyfriend" meme


sick of recipes calling for a miserly one shallot. give me a recipe that asks for a whole bunch!! what do you want me to do snack on shallots


[at a dive bar] Friend: Look, I know you're disappointed, but we should at least have one drink. Me: *wearing flippers, a wetsuit and a snorkle* I'd like to leave, please.


When the moon hits your knees And you mispronounce trees Sycamore


"I do like it but don't you think perhaps it's a little ... you know... a little bit too penisy?" Architect: "Don't worry, there'll be so many fireworks and lights on the launch night, nobody will ever notice"