1.
i SAID do you believe in life after love
2.
HHHhhHbhahahnsjajaHABAHSKKKKBAHAHSHBAHAJmxnxnsnHABAHAHhahahsbabhaHHhahHahahhshshHhahshjsnansmsnahHahahshsbahJAJAHA
3.
the breakfast club was 97 minutes ill never get back. no scenes of the characters eating breakfast. not even a single mention of breakfast. if you wanna make a movie about people who dont eat breakfast thats fine, but dont use cheap tactics to lure viewers in. 1 out of 5 stars
4.
Will Ferrell is me walking to the fridge for my 2 a.m. snack 😂 #Emmys
5.
Me: what’s the wifi password My mom: https://t.co/vXxQ9cGc5t
6.
girls be like "can you get my lip gloss from my purse? just reach in & head left, take a right at the wallet then turn left til you pass 3 nutrigrain bars & take your next right then head straight & it should be there. if you've hit the 2007 target receipts you've gone too far"
7.
me: *starts a movie* also me: *keeps playing with my phone for 10 minutes straight* me: This movie sucks the movie: https://t.co/tqrGV9sHcb
8.
[first day as a vet] me: what seems to be the problem cat: meow me: yes but where
9.
Kris Jenner with her grandkids at the family reunions
10.
me: *zones out for 60 min of important work meeting* me: eh me: *zones out for 6 seconds of a TV show* me: reTHEFUCKwind
11.
When you book a room but the last meeting runs over.
12.
Fer-Nando’s https://t.co/j0I931JYyQ
13.
me: I wish for infinite wishes! genie: ok me: wait are you serious genie: [exhaling cigarette] yeah I don’t give a shit
14.
when your local library starts subtly sowing the seeds of anarchy
15.
Just watched Jeremy kyle for the first time in agesss and a lass found lots of empty condom wrappers when she came home from work so thought he was cheating, he said he used them to make water bombs to throw at cats and he was telling the truth😭👏🏽
16.
Takes a screencap so he can subtweet like Gaston
17.
No email has ever found me well.
18.
I'm not back on my bullshit I am the bullshit
19.
*drunk person hitting on the lead singer of The Killers in a bar*: "so... is there a Mrs Brightside?"
20.
When people ask me how my life is going.
21.
HAMLET: To die, to sleep; To sleep, perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For-- https://t.co/B2anYQP02A
22.
disney: we want a nice elegant design that just says ‘Walt Disney’ graphic designer: Walt Gisney disney: looks great
