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23 Tweets About Australia That Will Make You Laugh Every Time

"Oi fuck face!" - Australian greeting.

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1.

"Sir, what's happening here?" "Just waiting for a mate."

2.

me: strewth me tannins are goin off their fuckin cluckers - kind of wine's this then sommelier: that's a vb sir me: so bloody smooth

3.

best Aussie expressions: - carry on like a pork chop - stop fart arsing around - bitta shush please - rack off ya fucken dog

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4.

kid: i don't feel so good mum: they're kicking in m8 I am feeling it

5.

[sees a photo online of a spider found deep in the bush] woah! australia is so dangerous! [continues to live in a city devoid of wildlife]

6.

"australia has no culture" explain this then

7.

In Australia Spider Man is a guy who likes putting ice cream in his coke

8.

I'm going to the Logies for the first time tonight, which one of the @HomeandAwayTV boys is most likely to put out?

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9.

Literally the most enduring piece of Australian culture is this image

10.

Australia's national pastime is clapping out of time during every song at concerts.

11.

i love that australia regularly runs ad campaigns for meat. not a specific company that makes meat or sells meat. just the concept of meat

12.

Great pic of all the Australian prime ministers since 2010. #libspill

13.

In Australia there isn't mistletoe, so we just have to kiss under the influence.

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14.

how to get people's attention in australia: -OI FUCK FACE

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sheila: what's your baddest fantasy me: paying for three bags of ice at the servo but taking four sheila: what? me: ohh christ i'm erect

17.

true Australia fact, we have 4 seasons & they're named Autumn, Fuck it's Cold Hey, Magpie Bastards, and Tropical Strength Aerogard

18.

mal: like a tiger george: what are you doing? mal: do it with me, like a tiger george: no i wont mal: like a tiger

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19.

"Nice indicator dickhead!" - Ancient Australian Proverb

20.

me: where ya from mate bloke: dublin me: dubbo u say bloody shithole bloke: no dublin me: *spit* thats for bein from dubbo ya cockhead

21.

id love to get one day looking at australia through the eyes of an american

22.

Never forget that Australia fought a war against the Emu... and lost

23.

in australia we don't say "i love you" we say "fuck off cunt or ill smash ya" and i think it's truly beautiful

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