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The 1951 East High School Yearbook Is Better Than Yours

Senior quotes? More like sexually-charged personal ads. If you know any of these 80-year-old Ohioans, please give them a high-five.

This is my grandma. This is her yearbook. Her senior "quote" was pretty normal.

1. But the rest of her graduating class? Well, first there's Larry Carey, a one-woman man.

2. Then there's Ratfoot, who's into that kind of thing.

3. There's Spook, who asks the hard-hitting questions.

4. There's Johnson, who's trying to get her flirt on.

5. There's Dick, who wants to be remembered for talking too much.

6. There's Vivian, who wants to be remembered for talking too little.

7. There's Bee Gee, who's just here for George.

8. There's Martha, who doesn't think you're ready for this jelly.

9. There's Bud, who's READY FOR ANYTHING.

10. There's Lew, who's working on his personal brand.

11. There's Margie, who gave up on this task.

12. There's Nancy, who similarly just wrote down some words.

13. There's Doc, who misspelled that on purpose.

14. There's Shirl, who won't stop bragging.

15. There's Marlene, who quoted Marilyn Monroe before it was cool.*

16. There's Ida, who begs to differ, Marlene.

17. There's Evie, who... wait, what?

18. There's Cherrybone...

19. And Karo...

20. There's Inman Sanford, Jr., a real chill guy.

21. There's Sleepy, the Taylor Swift of this high school.

22. There's Sweetpea, who is using this opportunity to test out a new catchphrase.

23. There's Clerkie, who sort of stole Sweetpea's catchphrase.

24. There's Lester, a guy who "plays sports" in his leisure time.

25. There's Hack, a guy who knows what Lester really does in his leisure time.

26. There's Paul...

27. And Millie, who's tired of your crap, Paul.

28. There's Mitch, hater of group projects.

29. There's Glennie, who's NOT LAZY, OK?

30. There's Eve, who possibly hates everyone.

31. There's Bob, who definitely hates everyone.

32. There's Letty, who wishes she could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles and we'd all eat it and be happy.

33. And then there's E-Jay, who's skeptical of this whole yearbook thing.

34. Go forth, speak to your parents and grandparents, and discover your own family's bizarre yearbooks. May they be delightful and full of strange advice. And if they aren't?

All images were scanned from Columbus, Ohio's East High School yearbook, 1951.