27 Photos That Prove Texas Has No Chill

Why the fuck do you need a Texas-shaped sink?

1. Texas honestly loves the fuck out of itself.

(That’s a lazy river around an island which is part of a hotel.)

2. So much so, that it feels the need to show off its shape at every possible chance.

3. Like, look at this goddamn grill.

5. This corn chip???

7. AND THIS FUCKING HUNK OF CHEESE!

8. Oh, but you’ll need some kind of platter for that cheese, right?

9. Or maybe you like to buy your party platters pre-made.

10. But wait. Is that a… Texas-shaped bird bath????

(Yes it is. These are sold at the GROCERY STORE.)

11. Have you always wanted Texas-shaped metal art?

Well, you’re in luck.

12. Or how about a Texas-shaped coffee table to put your Texan metal art on?

13. Look at this mug…

How do you even drink out of it?

14. …these shot glasses…

15. …and this Texas-shaped basket.

What would you even store in here?

16. A fucking guitar??? Really, Texas?

17. But you can’t forget the picks you’ll need to play it.

18. There’s Texas pasta…

19. …Texas candy…

20. And of course, there’s this fucking giant burger:

21. This public pool!!!!

texaspool.org / Via David Woo / Dallas Morning News

How would you swim laps here? Honestly.

22. These pavestones.

Squares would have been just fine, guys.

23. And headstones??!!

So you can be patriotic in the afterlife.

24. Oh, you can’t forget the crust cutter.

For the full-blooded Texan who also hates their crusts.

25. A fucking Texas-shaped HOUSE.

Its swimming pool is shaped like a boot, with a hot tub as the spur. I WISH I was making this up.

26. You can’t have a Texas house without Texas stepping stones.

27. And this fucking unnecessary sink.

Imagine doing the dishes in this sink. Far out.

Never change, Texas, you big ol’ bunch of weirdos.

Warner Bros.

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Jemima Skelley is a senior writer for BuzzFeed and is based in Sydney.
 
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