1.
Do Americans wear hoodies that say tafe nsw like Australia’s do with Yale etc?
2.
The photos from the Barbie movie are amazing.
3.
Trying to get a vodka red bull at splendour in the grass this year
4.
after having two schooners
5.
Americans: oh yeah he weighs 150 pounds Me, knowingly to myself: they weigh approximately $300 dollars
6.
Things I want for Americans - kettles and abortion access. https://t.co/Njm7scugKT
7.
living in Melbourne is just waiting for the one nice day of weather and then not being able to do anything fun because you must do the 5 loads of washing you need to do because it’s the only day anything has any hope of drying
8.
I got that Qantas Wellbeing app where you earn miles for steps. They send me notifications saying "you're well below your weekly step target" yeah ok well at least I'm not losing everyone's luggage and cancelling a hundred flights a week so I guess we all have our flaws
9.
Finally bringing down these two jokers.
10.
why don't we put lube in these?
11.
thinking of everyone struggling after getting the annual "you have a new message in your mygov inbox" text
12.
dont fuckin tease me like that
13.
You may not like it, but this is what this ideal Australian Prime Minister looks like
14.
What drugs have they put in the air at the Kmart home section, because I wake up in the middle of the night desperate for another dusty pink, boho chic hit
15.
I thought I had seen everything at the footy.. until last night!
16.
I genuinely wanna know how to get a staff members attention in jbhifi
17.
The Australian approach to Covid policy
18.
Timely reminder that Boris Johnson chose to spend his gap year working at Geelong Grammar (?!)
19.
There’s waaaaay too many $20 sandwich shops in Melbourne. Sandwiches shoukd cost $7 and be prepared by a 60 yr old lady using margarine and white rolls only.
20.
You don't know what you got till it's gone
21.
They call it Highpoint Shopping Centre but every time I go there it's one of the lowest points in my life.
22.
I enjoyed tv more when you had to watch whatever shit was shovelled into your eyes across the 5 free to air channels growing up than I do now when there's endless choice to cater to my exact tastes
23.
shoutout to @hinge changing the height setting from feet to cm knowing full well i dropped maths in year 10 and have no point of reference anymore
24.
When I text you ‘⬆️’ I mean play Rise Up written by Vanessa Amorosi and Mark Holden (Australian Idol 2003 top 12 version which still isn’t available on @SpotifyAU)
25.
Sat next to a couple of semi celebs at a cafe today, was ready to overhear some fun goss. Of all the inane things on earth they were discussing how to get into the MyGov app. Thanks for NOTHING MyGov, you’ve ruined eavesdropping now too.
26.
Everyone jokes Australia isn't real but have u heard of New Zealand? Like, their main news website is called "Stuff". Like you type "stuff" into the search browser and it gives you all the news! Most news sites are "The Herald" or "The Times" but NZ is just like nah bro, "Stuff"
27.
lol at all these aussie dudes who think they're ned kelly but pop an artery when grace tame doesn't smile at the PM
28.
mums are obsessed with reminding people to use their dine and discover vouchers before they expire
29. And finally:
Just watched someone eat a meat pie by removing the top and eating that, followed by scooping out the meat with a fork and eating that, before finally eating the pastry cup that was left. I don’t know how I feel about it, but I think I just witnessed a crime.