Sydney's median house price of around $1.2million is pretty fucking high, especially when you compare it to the national average of about $650k. So basically if you're a young person wanting to live in Sydney, you've either got to rent forever, or hope like hell to get a high-paying job (or generous, cashed-up parents).
Here's an idea of what that price will get you in Sydney:
Surry Hills, Sydney, NSW – $1.2million
Location: A ten-minute walk from Sydney city.
Sure, it's pretty teeny-tiny, and you know that it's not a quiet neighbourhood, but if you want to live near the city this location is pretty damn unbeatable. Also that kitchen is a hell of a lot nicer than others I've seen in Surry Hills.
Arncliffe, Sydney, NSW – $1.1million
Location: A 35-minute train ride from Sydney CBD.
No one's ever said "I can't wait to settle down in Arncliffe", but if you want a house and not an apartment, your options in Sydney are kind of limited. The rooms are tiny, but it does have a patio and small backyard.
Here's what you can get in the country's other state capitals:
Carlton, Melbourne, Vic. – $1.1million
Location: Just outside the Melbourne CBD.
This spacious apartment has a long-ass balcony that can be accessed from all three bedrooms. The location is pretty great, it's walking distance from the city, and right near all the best Italian food in Melbs... which is honestly the main reason I'd move there.
Williamstown, Melbourne, Vic. – $1.2million
Location: A 30-minute drive from Melbourne CBD.
This is the kind of house you'd want to invite all your friends to so you can show it off, but you'll be following them around with a coaster all evening. It's also got two car spaces and is two streets away from the beach.
Werribee, Melbourne, Vic. – $1.1million
Bedrooms: One house with five bedrooms, one house with three.
Location: 32km from the Melbourne CBD.
Yep, you read that right. TWO HOUSES. For the price of a Sydney apartment. They do look very gingerbread house-y but a combined eight bedrooms, seven bathrooms, and outdoor area with a fountain and a gazebo makes it very appealing.
Dulwich, Adelaide, SA – $1.2million
Location: Dulwich, right on the outskirts of the CBD.
Sydney and Melbourne inhabitants can only dream of owning a house with a pool AND being able to walk to the CBD. Looks like the answer is Adelaide...
Tatachilla, Adelaide, SA – $1.1 million
Location: Forty-five minutes drive from Adelaide CBD, surrounded by vineyards.
This is a 40-acre property, complete with fruit trees, olive trees, and "table grapes" which I'm just going to assume are things that you can turn into wine. It's honestly GIANT, and my Sydney-based brain can't deal with the fact that it's basically a farm, but still so close to the city?
Perth, WA – $1million
Location: Right on the outskirts of the Perth CBD.
This giant house (by inner-city standards) also has a small backyard and double garage/shed. It's also got an INBUILT VACCUM CLEANER which sounds incredibly deluxe.
Fremantle, Perth, WA – $1.15million
Bedrooms: Three plus study.
Location: In the heart of Fremantle, 25 mins from the Perth CBD.
The wood floors and minimal kitchen with red accents makes this house VERY TRENDY, at least according to Instagram and Pinterest. Also look at that zen AF back garden.
Coconut Grove, Darwin, NT – $1.15million
Location: A ten-minute drive from Darwin CBD but honestly it looks like you're in the middle of a rainforest.
Guys, I'm shook. Look at this house. It looks like a place that housewives would go to for a $1000-a-night yoga retreat. And you can live there. It's got a swimming pool, fish ponds, and bridges in the garden connecting everything, like that fancy resort in Bora Bora that the Kardashians went to.
Brisbane, Qld. – $1.1million
Location: Right in the Brisbane CBD.
You honestly can't find a more convenient location than this one. It's right on the water, and also high up above the riff raff. And the building has a gym, spa, pool, and sauna.
Eight Mile Plains, Brisbane, Qld. – $1.1million
Location: Twenty minutes from Brisbane City.
This is honestly a dream home. It's big, but not too big. It's in the city, but it's not too close. Also you can pretend you're Eminem and say you're from Eight Mile.
Chifley, Canberra, ACT – $1.2million
Location: Fifteen minutes drive from Canberra CBD.
I never thought I'd want to live in Canberra until I realised that you can live 12km away from the city and it will still only take you 15 minutes to get there. I live 4km from the city and it takes 20 minutes and a hell of a lot of patience to drive in.
Sandy Bay, Hobart, Tas. – $1.1million
Location: A fifteen-minute drive from the Hobart CBD.
This waterfront house is in a "prestigious area", though it's still Hobart so let's not get too carried away. It's got access to a secluded beach, as well as a garden with a terrace and fruit trees. The bottom level has a separate access so you can rent it out for some extra cash if you so desire.
And for all you people who fancy living outside of the major cities? Well, you're in luck...
Bathurst, NSW – $1.1million
Location: Just off the main street of Bathurst.
This house can be turned into a BnB, or it can be split into three separate residences. Or, you can just live in a giant motherfucking mansion and have it all to yourself.
Lake Wyangan, NSW – $1.1million
Location: Just outside the city of Griffith, six hours' drive from Sydney.
If you're looking for a big old house in the country, this one's pretty unbeatable. It's got a theatre and three living spaces, and a giant backyard which is just asking for a pool. It's situated kind-of in the middle of nowhere, right in the middle of NSW.
Ocean Shores, NSW – $1million
Location: Twenty minutes drive from Byron Bay.
If you're attracted to the Byron Bay lifestyle and location, but want to avoid the British backpackers and pot-smoking hippies, then this is the best location for you. You're out of town, but still close enough to take advantage of the beaches and cafés.
Traralgon, Vic. – $1.1million
Location: Two hours' drive from Melbourne.
This giant house is set on four acres, with fruit trees, horse stables, and an inground spa. It's far enough away from the city that you can live a rustic chic lifestyle, but not so far away that you never have contact with other humans.
Newtown, Vic. – $1.1million
Bedrooms: Two three-bedroom townhouses.
Location: An inner suburb of Geelong, an hour's drive from Melb.
This property is right near the river and the city, and a ten-minute drive to the beach. It's up to you whether you want to live in one house and rent out the other, or somehow just live in both houses at once.
Eurobin, Vic. – $1.2million
Location: Eurobin, which is described as a "hamlet" (ok) on the Great Alpine Road.
It's a modern AF house, set on 16 acres of lawns and native bushland. It really is out in woop woop, but close to ski fields which will be handy in the winter.
Springton, SA – $1.2million
Bedrooms: One three-bedroom house, one two-bedroom cottage, and two one-bedroom cottages.
Location: In the Barossa Valley, about an hour out of Adelaide.
Ok, so this property is called "Wine Country Cottages" which makes me want to buy it straight away. As well as the four buildings, there are also PERSONAL VINEYARDS (goals), a dam, a well, and paddocks.
Carnarvon, WA – $1.2million
Bedrooms: Four homes with a total of ten bedrooms.
Location: Just outside Carvarvon, on the WA coast, 900km north of Perth.
Have you ever dreamed of quitting your job, moving as far away as possible, and opening a mango farm? It's a very obscure dream, but this property makes it a possibility. It comes with tractors, sheds, ripening facilities, and all the tools you need to run a successful mango farming business! How fun.
Esperance, WA – $1.2million
Location: On WA's south coast, right near that pink lake that looks incredible on Instagram.
The area is ideal for surfing and swimming, with really good beaches literally down the road. The house faces onto a lake (not the pink one), and it's also got stables, horse paddocks, and veggie patches.
Bayview, Darwin, NT – $1.2million
Location: Five minutes from Darwin CBD, in a "prestigious marina estate", whatever that means.
Look, I wish I could find you more million-dollar houses in the Northern Territory that aren't in Darwin, but honestly, they don't exist. Sorry.
Cairns, Qld. – $1.2million
Bedrooms: Eleven, split over four homes.
Location: 3km from the centre of Cairns, near the airport.
This giant property can rake in a lot of cash for you, though I'm not sure how much rent in Cairns is worth tbh. It does have a wine cellar though which is always a good thing, even if you just fill it with goon sacks.
Toowoomba, Qld. – $1.2million
Location: Just outside the centre of Toowoomba, 130km from Brisbane.
Ok this is the fanciest, most luxe old-timey house I've ever seen. Can't you just imagine sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, sipping tea and wearing a petticoat? Same.
Illinbah, Qld. – $1.2million
Location: A 30-minute drive from the Gold Coast.
Not only is this house incredibly modern, it's set on 50 acres of land with a creek, paddocks, and flat areas cleared for farming. You get to live a zen rural lifestyle, but it's close enough that you can still go get fucked up on the Gold Coast whenever you want.
Strahan, Tas. – $1.2million
Bedrooms: Six units, totalling 15 bedrooms.
Location: In Strahan, a town on the west coast of Tasmania.
This block of six units, usually used for short-term holiday accomodation, is fully-furnished and situated right on the water and near the Tasmanian forests which tourists love to explore.