1.
Name a better feeling than waking up in the middle of the night and thinking to yourself “please don’t be 6 am” and then when you look at the clock you realize that it’s only 2:34 am and you still have like 4 hours to sleep!!!!!
2.
ur cousins are either ur bff’s or y'all don't fw each other at all
3.
Ever had a dream with someone in it who didn't quite make sense? They were in your life, but not on a dream level? Like, I don't know why I'm drowning in this car submerged in a lake, but I especially don't know why I'm doing it with you, girl from my junior year sociology class.
4.
Me, paying off my credit card while still using it regularly
5.
me: if you drink this coffee you’re gonna get jittery and anxious and you’re gonna feel sick later. my brain: good bean juice taste like chocolate make me go fast
6.
Girls don’t actually shop we just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’
7.
Me looking at the mf that honked at my mom
8.
Weekends as an adult really suck. Friday: you work until 5 and you’re too tired to do anything. Saturday: you want to chill but you have to run errands or be productive. Sunday: you’re mad all day because it’s already almost Monday.
9.
well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions
10.
me staring at the person I handed my ID to so they know it’s really me
11.
U dno how embarrassing ur pals are until ur in the front of the taxi and they are in the back
12.
Me jumping into bed after a long day at work. 😂
13.
[normal life] ive worn the same shirt everyday for a week [packing for vacation] hmmm. i'll prob change a few times a day so thats…32 shirts
14.
When someone holding the door open for you but you a little ways away:
15.
Single at 23: “I have to go out and meet someone!” Single at 29: “If it’s meant to be the right person will find me in my home.”
16.
“Purchase $81.24 OK?” I mean it’s definitely not ok but I need it so like fuck me I guess
17.
Why talk about your feelings when you can listen to “Move Along” by The All-American Rejects 47 times in a row?
18.
me: *knows hors d'oeuvres is pronounced "ordervs"* also me: horse divorce
19.
after some soul searching (buying clothes i don’t need) i have found that everything will be ok
20.
my body: WHAT DO WE WANT? my brain: SLEEP! my body: WHEN DO WE WANT IT? my brain: AT EITHER 2PM OR 3AM my body: hey wait— my brain: LITERALLY NO OTHER TIME my body: no that’s not— my brain: WE ARE UNWILLING TO COMPROMISE
21.
my conscience escorting me to my messages once a week to reply to all the friends i've been ignoring
22.
When I express my feelings for someone.. https://t.co/pzC1kAj4tD
23.
Daily thoughts: I wish everyone would shut the fuck up.
24.
younger me:can we get McDon- mom: WE GOT FOOD AT HOME https://t.co/Hr3rHMAoSo
25.
I DON’T have a problem with any Race , Religion or Sex... I DO have a problem with DUMBFUCKS though.....
26.
when youre cutting wrapping paper and the scissors start gliding
27.
you have a 4.0 gpa? that’s cute. i’ve solved the jonbenet ramsey case over 600 times