1.
Girls don’t actually shop we just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’
2.
a boy could ask ur bra size and u could be like “ak-47” and he would respond w “fuck 😩😩😩 ur so hot 😫”
3.
sometimes my low pony looks cute but sometimes i look like a young man in colonial america eager to start his woodworking apprenticeship
4.
Single at 23: “I have to go out and meet someone!” Single at 29: “If it’s meant to be the right person will find me in my home.”
5.
STOP EVERYTHING so one of my friends got married yesterday and she had POCKETS ON HER WEDDING DRESS which is just the best thing I have ever seen. https://t.co/3A0PF3102V
6.
me when i wake up vs. when i’m finally ready to go out
7.
The continued existence of straight women in 2018 should utterly disprove the idea that homosexuality is a choice.
8.
once i hate your boyfriend for you there’s no going back. i don’t care that he apologized. i did this for you
9.
applying lip balm while you know someone’s watching you is a power move
10.
thinking about dying my hair platinum blonde which means it’s time to see my therapist
11.
I use “bitch” so much as a term of endearment that I forget ppl actually get offended by it
12.
Ariana had to learn the hard way what all women find out eventually: that sometimes you think a guy is amazing and funny and loving and sexy, but it turns out he’s just tall
13.
every time I wear a tube top out there’s like a 49% chance I accidentally flash someone but sometimes that’s the price u gotta pay to look good am I right ladies
14.
me: h- girls who thrift:
15.
why did I ever let girls in layered hollister t-shirts and sparkly uggs bully me in middle school
16.
Girls go back to the guy that fucked them over 1000 times but won't go back to the lady that fucked their nails up once. 💀💀
17.
Men: seriously why do you need such a big bag????? Also men: can I put this in your bag
18.
I think I’m starting to understand girls Calling another girl bitch = probably friends Calling another girl sweetie = definitely not friends
19.
a therapist: expensive a box of hair dye: $7
20.
i hate ranting to my boyfriend because he’ll use sound logic and reasoning and i’m really just looking for someone to be just as overdramatic about the situation as i am
21.
Women’s shower water. https://t.co/kJvu6FE256
22.
If you write a girl a handwritten note she’s keeping it forever no matter what happens