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26 Funny Tweets That'll Distract You For A Hot Minute

You can always count on Twitter.

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Recently we asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share with us the funniest tweets they could think of. Here are the best answers:

1.

*wipes doritos dust onto cum-stained sweatpants* hmmmmm time to pick out a flawless wife on the internet. not rihanna her forehead's too big

@jdub

2.

– Yas Langley

3.

– Jemima Skelley

4.

Being 28-2016: I'm not ready for a relationship 28-1816: I have 13 kids 28-1000BC: I lived a good life, thrice I ate a berry and once a pear

begoodb16

5.

"No more self-deprecating tweets," I whisper fatly.

6.

[sees girl reading The Catcher in the Rye] "Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye."

7.

– Yas Langley
@sheseemslegit

8.

when y'all subtweet and I have to search for the full story

– Stephanie Anderson

9.

Don't go Jason Waterfalls <3 love that song

10.

"I'm going to kill you, Brendadirk Cramplescrunch."

clpacer

11.

You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare. Back in my day we just died

12.

"yeah of course I can paint your ceiling." Michelangelo scoffed to himself, "gonna paint a bunch of dudes with they dick outs on it tho"

acshaw15

13.

One time I saw a video of a guy holding up a sign that said "I love you Stevie" at a Stevie Wonder concert. I think about this a lot.

zoeuno101

14.

– Erica Sloan, Facebook

15.

– contempt
@binki_shapiro

contempt

16.

I just laughed so hard I have to go use a rescue inhaler now

17.

how'd he have time to write all those plays then

– Jemima Skelley

18.

[awful Cranberries voice] 🎶 shot in the heeeead / in the heeeeead / ha-ram-be / ha-ram-be / harambe-EY-ey-EY-ey-EY

19.

tfw you want the minister of fisheries and oceans to review your snow crab proposal

20.

– ktalbot

21.

My 10 yr old son just found out about the NASCAR driver named Dick Trickle. I may have to get oxygen. The kid is losing it.

22.

My evil clone:[pointing to me] Shoot HIM, he's the clone Friend:[aims at the clone] The REAL Alex would never pass up an opportunity to die

23.

Am I the only one who charger look like this? (Excuse my feet btw)

– Michelle Rennex

24.

Romeo: check out this cat video Juliet: omg dead 😂 Juliet: hello Juliet: romeo Juliet: i didn't mean literally dead Juliet: romeo

– Dean Nye

25.

I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (Oooooo)/ I am four eels/ Never meant to make your daughter cry/ I am several fish and not a guy

26.

– Olivia Marie

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