1. The first task of the Triwizard Tournament would be Goon of Fortune.
2. The Hogwarts Express would never run on time.
3. Mail would be delivered by galahs and cockatoos.
4. The Weasleys would be on Wizard Centrelink.
5. And Draco would constantly be calling them all rangas.
6. Rita Skeeter would be a gossip writer for NW.
7. Mr Weasley's flying car would be a Holden Commodore.
8. Harry, Ron & Hermione would have driven around in a Kombi rather than camping after fleeing the Ministry of Magic.
9. Aragog wouldn't have been as scary, because everyone is used to big spiders.
10. Hogwarts students would sneak into Hogsmeade on Sundays for $10 roast specials at the Three Broomsticks.
11. At least five students would get suspended for sneaking flasks into the Yule Ball.
12. And at some point in the night, everyone would do the Nutbush.
13. Beaters' bats would be replaced with cricket bats.
14. The Hogwarts grounds would be full of kangaroos.
15. In Care of Magical Creatures class students would learn how to identify and avoid drop bears.
16. And how to wrestle crocodiles.
17. Sirius' animagus would be a dingo.
18. Just before killing Nagini, Neville would have looked at Voldemort and said: "You call that a snake?"
19. Azkaban would be the whole island of Tasmania.
20. After the Battle of Hogwarts, everyone would go down to the pub to celebrate. Harry's shout.
21. Crabbe & Goyle would have mullets.
22. Hufflepuff students would sneak into the kitchens for 3am kebabs.
23. Harry & Voldemort's wands would be gum tree with an emu feather core.
24. Neville would be a Kiwi, but after he helped defeat Voldemort, everyone would claim him as an Australian.
25. People would welcome Dementor patrols in summer in order to cool down.
26. The Great Hall would just be a repurposed old shed with a corrugated iron roof.
27. And there'd be a lot less floating candles because of the total fire ban rules.
28. Hogwarts robes would be short sleeved.
29. Gringotts would be guarded by bunyips instead of goblins.
30. Dark Marks would be in the shape of the Southern Cross.
31. The Great Lake would be filled with bluebottles rather than a giant squid.
32. The sorting hat would have corks attached to it.
33. There would be werewallabies instead of werewolves.
34. The Hogs Head would be called The Drunken Roo.
35. The Whomping Willow would be a gum tree filled with vicious koalas.
36. Travelling by Floo Powder would be very difficult as hardly any houses have fireplaces.
37. Portkeys would always be old VB cans.
38. Greyback wouldn't be quite as threatening, because everyone would call him Gazza.
39. Ditto Voldy.
40. Celestina Warbeck would have begun her career on Neighbours.
41. No one would bother trying to go into the Forbidden Forest because everyone's seen Wolf Creek and knows what happens in the Australian wilderness.