Buzz·Posted on 6 Jan 201723 Jokes You'll Only Get If You're Poor"The only thing dry in January is my bank account."by Jemima SkelleyBuzzFeed Staff, AustraliaLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. 2. 3. Bitch Problem👸🏼 @FemaleTexts my only New Years resolution is to not spend money on food I honestly might be rich by 2017 02:51 AM - 24 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. Lucy Valentine @LucyXIV you: a 'homeowner' hundreds of grand in debt me: a ps4 and lava lamp owner, no debt, furniture I found on the side of the road 12:28 PM - 18 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. jomny sun, authoer @jonnysun i once saw a pigeon on the subway & it got off at the financial distribct & all i coud think was "cool. that bird makes more money than me" 10:49 PM - 01 Mar 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Laura G. @lgbk44 as a kid, I used to think $1,000 was a lot of money. But now that I'm an adult, I think it's a tremendous amount of money 05:03 PM - 20 Mar 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Common White Girl @girlposts me: doesn't check bank account for weeks also me: "not sure how much is on this, but let's just see if it works" 09:01 PM - 09 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Jessie @NicCageMatch "Hello darkness my old friend." Darkness: I'm not lending you any money. 10:17 PM - 22 Nov 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. shut up, mike @shutupmikeginn Age 15: someday I'm going to own a Ferrari Age 20: maybe I'll get a BMW someday Age 25: I hope someone in a Mercedes hits me in a crosswalk 02:09 AM - 09 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. sophia white @sophiamaws visualization of my bank account right now 05:14 AM - 13 Apr 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. dream ghoul @TheDreamGhoul MUGGER: GIVE ME YOUR PURSE OR I'LL SHOOT YOU ME: *realize I won't have to pay student loans back if I'm dead* MUGGER: ??? ME: I'm thinking. 01:39 AM - 24 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. Jonwayne @jonwayne Age 20: in 5 years I'm going to own a benz and have my house paid off. Age 25: you know what, Patricia? Make that TWO mexican pizzas. 06:39 PM - 15 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Periwinkle Jones @peachesanscream The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience. 08:24 PM - 16 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Puns @TheFunnyWorId "Work until your bank account looks like a phone number" Well... 03:21 PM - 04 Nov 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. jord @jordangarl5nd dry january, yeh right the only thing that has been dry the whole of january is my bank account😫 08:29 PM - 18 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. CBS @ClaeBrown me: i wanna show you the world *looks at bank account* me: i wanna show you the block 07:07 PM - 21 Nov 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. b.b @Benoo_Brown Me to me: 'STOP SPENDING MONEY!' 10:58 AM - 16 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Gertrude @nihilmutationis me trying to figure out where all my money went: maybe if i hadnt bought that 89 cent dipping sauce in 2007.. 09:24 AM - 08 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. $ @sassycxss when ur relative offers u money and u pretend like u cant take it at first 02:35 AM - 20 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Yassir Lester @Yassir_Lester If I have $100 cash in my pocket in the morning, even if I don't go anywhere or spend any money, at the end of the day I'll have $7 dollars 03:19 AM - 22 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. 🔥 @Sassafrantz Doctor: show me where it hurts. [shows him my bank account balance] 10:27 PM - 24 Mar 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. ollka crump @dulcetry Hey now Youre a coinstar Put your dimes on this plaaate Hey now Get your swear jar check your car for loose chaaange & all i eat's McDonalds 01:05 AM - 08 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. meatball sugar @slodwick Me: [repeatedly tries to type "motherlode" in the ATM] 02:59 PM - 31 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite