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29 Very Grown-Up Questions About The Harry Potter Series

I apologise for the direction this went in.

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1. Do wizards and witches smoke weed? Are there other magical drugs?

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And were students sneaking off to hidden parts of the greenhouses for some ~recreational gardening~?

2. How often did the older students sneak into each other's dormitories?

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3. And did they send each other nudes...by owl?

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Moving photos would really take dick pics to another level.

4. Did they even teach sex ed at Hogwarts? And would it have been taught by the heads of house?

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Lmao @ McGonagall teaching the twins about safe sex.

5. What's the go with wizard STDs?

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6. Not to be crass but...can you engorgio a penis?

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7. Sorry, but how did Voldemort and Bellatrix have sex? I was really under the impression that once he was reborn from that cauldron, Voldemort was barely human.

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He had no nose. How did he have a dick?

8. What are wizarding LGBT rights like?

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9. Is there a magical way for two people of the same sex to have a baby that is 50% each of them?

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10. Do wizards use the same form of contraception as Muggles?

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11. How do giants and regular-sized people have sex?

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Just...logistically.

12. Is there a wizarding Planned Parenthood?

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13. What are the abortion laws and rights like?

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14. What's it like having a baby as a witch? Do you just pop it out with no pain?

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15. Oh, and are there magical tampons, or is that just dealt with using a simple spell?

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16. Do wizards have health insurance, or is a visit to St Mungo's going to cost you big time?

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17. What's the go with wizarding world mental health services?

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NGL, I think some of those students at Hogwarts could have done with a grief counsellor.

18. Are there ways of staying fit that involve no physical exercise at all?

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19. And within the Ministry of Magic, are there liberals and conservatives?

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20. It seems like wizards are all about the wireless, but are there wizarding TV shows?

How do Quidditch fans watch matches without physically being there?
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How do Quidditch fans watch matches without physically being there?

21. And how about wizarding REALITY shows?

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How cool would a wizarding cooking show be??!! Or wizarding Big Brother.

22. I know the books were set in the '90s, but now that it's 20 years later, did wizards ever get on board with technology?

Or even just with pens?
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Or even just with pens?

23. If wizards don't have smartphones, what's the magical equivalent of Tinder?

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24. Do wizards have memes?

25. Are there racist wizards?

(I low-key think Elphias Doge was a big ol' racist.)
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(I low-key think Elphias Doge was a big ol' racist.)

26. Are there anti-hangover spells?

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27. Is it common for wizards to read Muggle fiction?

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28. Could someone who is particularly good at potions invent a potion for literally anything?

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29. And what did Aberforth ~really~ do with those goats?

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