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Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?

A piñata cake, tentacle rings, and barber erasers: How far can *you* get without buying something?

Jenny Chang / Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

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Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”

I am your host, Jeff. The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something. The list may seem like it’s random, but it’s not.

Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe.

Come up with a better pun? Post in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS!


1. A corgi bottle stopper that's always happy to serve.

Its name is Corki.

Price: $8

2. A house tissue dispenser that makes you think smoke is coming out of the chimney, but it's really a tissue. Nothing is real anymore.

Snot bad looking.

Price: $9

3. A travel neck support pillow that folds for a more compact form factor.

If you're not a fan of grey, it comes in a few collars.

Price: $30

4. A magnetic notepad for checking off items as you run out of them.

There should be a checkbox for puns.

Price: $7

5. A soap/brush caddie that can hang off the edge (or around) the faucet.

It's quite a multi-fauceted caddie.

Price: $13

6. A rock-like dog toy to skip across the water.

Dogs find it quite fetching.

Price: $11

7. Sumo egg cups to fancy up your breakfast presentation.

It's good they come in packs of two. You never know when you want sumo-re.

Price: $12

8. A DIY catapult designed by Leonardo Da Vinci.

It can't launch a 90kg projectile over 300 meters but don't let that throw you off your plans.

Price: $24

9. A pirate bottle opener who demands you give him a leg up in life.

Pass it down to your kids and make it a leg-acy.

Price: $10

10. A pancake pen to make drawing designs super easy.

Casual cooks might flip out.

Price: $10

11. Survival bootlaces that have a blade and fire starter built in.

Canadian woodsmen like it, what aboot it?

Price: $15

12. An octopus ring that's actually kinda cool.

I'm a sucker for jewelry like this.

Price: $16

13. Fruity toilet spray that looks alarmingly edible.

This ought to get you out of any smell shit-uation.

Price: $15

14. A mini popsicle mold that makes perfectly portioned pops.

These ought to be quite pop-ular.

Price: $14

15. A wine bottle cold brew tea infuser to make rich-tasting tea overnight.

Seems tea-riffic!

Price: $19

16. A set of erasers that you slowly shave down into a stylish hairdo.

Rubber?! I hardly know her!

Price: $20

17. A baking pan that'll let you make an insane piñata cake.

Seems like this piñata cake would be a hit.

Price: $19

And now I'm hungry for cake. But if you're hungry for puns, check out last week's edition here.

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