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Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?

A piñata cake, tentacle rings, and barber erasers: How far can *you* get without buying something?

Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”

I am your host, Jeff. The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something. The list may seem like it’s random, but it’s not.

Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe.

Come up with a better pun? Post in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS!


1. A corgi bottle stopper that's always happy to serve.

2. A house tissue dispenser that makes you think smoke is coming out of the chimney, but it's really a tissue. Nothing is real anymore.

3. A travel neck support pillow that folds for a more compact form factor.

4. A magnetic notepad for checking off items as you run out of them.

5. A soap/brush caddie that can hang off the edge (or around) the faucet.

6. A rock-like dog toy to skip across the water.

7. Sumo egg cups to fancy up your breakfast presentation.

8. A DIY catapult designed by Leonardo Da Vinci.

9. A pirate bottle opener who demands you give him a leg up in life.

10. A pancake pen to make drawing designs super easy.

11. Survival bootlaces that have a blade and fire starter built in.

12. An octopus ring that's actually kinda cool.

13. Fruity toilet spray that looks alarmingly edible.

14. A mini popsicle mold that makes perfectly portioned pops.

15. A wine bottle cold brew tea infuser to make rich-tasting tea overnight.

16. A set of erasers that you slowly shave down into a stylish hairdo.

17. A baking pan that'll let you make an insane piñata cake.

And now I'm hungry for cake. But if you're hungry for puns, check out last week's edition here.

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