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Posted on Jan 22, 2017

Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?

Hexagonal cups, fart neutralizers, and slipper socks: How far can *you* get without buying something?

Jenny Chang / Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

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Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”

I am your host, Jeff. The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something. The list may seem like it’s random, but it’s not.

Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe.

Come up with a better pun? Post in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS!


1. These durable slipper socks that will keep your feet warm.

Hmmm, I've never seen anything like this before. Something strange is afoot.

Price: $36

2. This silicone mushroom night lamp to keep all the scary monsters away.

I can't keep it on my desk. It doesn't leave mushroom for anything else.

Price: $30

3. These carbon filters you put on your butt to make your farts more tolerable.

For those times you're going out...for carbon dating.

Price: $20

4. This wall-mounted scratching post for some added verticality.

It's made from scratch, I hear.

Price: $29

5. This elephant watering can that's quite adorable.

Akshatha / Via

Did you know that Ariel is the only Disney Princess to have had a child? But I guess that's a little irr-elephant right now.

Price: $5

6. This visually pleasing dustpan and brush set.

I have one, but it just collects dust.

Price: $6

7. This napkin dispenser that's got a nice retro vibe.

This is where my kin go to sleep.

Price: $12

8. These cute egg-shaped contact lens cases.

Detective: "This is a case I can really see eye-to-eye on."

Price: $3

9. This bag re-sealer to stop your chips from getting stale.

Keep them nice and crisp.

Price: $19

10. This phone stand that's made of aluminum.

Al I know about aluminum is that it's very light.

Price: $10

11. This padlock that uses Bluetooth to unlock and give access to others without a key.

A key feature is that you can still open it with a directional pattern.

Price: $49

12. This smart ear thermometer that can track your readings and symptoms.

102?! You can't be celsius!

Price: $46

13. This bathroom device that allows you to pee standing up.

This will help with urinate ability to pee.

Price: $22

14. This slim phone-finder that can also fit into any wallet.

Wallet finder?! I hardly know her!

Price: $30

15. These hexagonal beer pong cups that are durable and reduce the gaps between them.


Price: $20

16. These lollipops that may help fight cavities.

These ought to enamel you to take better care of your teeth.

Price: $30

17. This Polaroid camera that is actually a toilet paper dispenser.

It's a terrible camera tho. Takes real shitty pictures.

Price: $20

And here we are at the end. Maybe looking for more? There’s always last week’s edition.

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