The 12 Stages Of Checking My Bank Account

    How bad could it be?

    1. Blind optimism

    2. Brief, justifiable worry

    3. Hesitation

    4. The Plunge

    5. The First Wave of Horror

    6. The Second Wave of Horror

    7. Baseless denial

    8. Unintelligable anger toward bank and then toward computer

    9. Manic checking of wallet to see how much cash I have left

    10. The Third Wave of Horror

    11. Acceptance of my financial situation for the 4th time that week

    12. Immediate disregard of the truth in favor of living a life of reckless hedonism

    Once again from the top!