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Do You Have Dadfoot?

Let's hope you're not a shoe-in.

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Dadfoot is a very not-fake condition affecting millions of people each year. We have prepared a simple test to guide you through an at-home diagnosis.

  1. 1. When you get up in the morning, what do your feet look like?

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  2. 2. When you are on vacation, what do your feet look like?

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  3. 3. When you do anything outdoors, what do your feet look like?

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    Rembert Browne / Via grantland.com
    Rembert Browne / Via grantland.com
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  4. 4. Which of these socks is most familiar to you?

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Do You Have Dadfoot?

You got: You have an extremely severe case of dadfoot.

I'm...so sorry. You appear to have a very advanced case of dadfoot. Even now, I can see the socks beginning to form beneath your sandals and up to your knees. The best we can do at this point is embrace the disease and give you as many cell phone holsters and novelty coffee mugs as your heart desires.

You have an extremely severe case of dadfoot.
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You got: You have a very minor case of dadfoot.

The good news is that we can fight this thing. Yes, your feet are certainly dadlike, especially there around the nails and also in those sneakers you wear, but we have medicine for that sort of thing. I suggest 20 cc's of buying a new pair of slippers that don't smell like old burnt turkey.

You have a very minor case of dadfoot.
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You got: You do not have dadfoot. Whew!

A clean bill of health! Your feet are very un-dadlike, and so are you. You're wearing shoes that were made after 1981 and that change depending on the season. Your big toenail isn't the size of a small Pacific island, either. I bet you don't even own a pair of hiking boots bought from a major retail chain that you bought when you stopped in that one time looking for a wire to connect the TV to the dang stereo. You have a lot to be thankful for.

You do not have dadfoot. Whew!
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