3."I once had a coworker who worked at a customer site and had a crush on one of the women who worked there, too. One day, the woman came back from lunch and saw him pick up the cushion from her chair and sniff it. He was asked to leave."
5."My ex-girlfriend once caught me playing her cat like a banjo. I had the cat's front paws in my hand, and I strummed his tummy. The cat was purring so loud that it made her come in to see what was going on."
6."In third grade, I went to the bathroom and, thinking I was alone, put my hands against the wall, leaned forward, and let out a long gigantic fart. I turned around and saw that some other kids had come in as I had released that massive fart."
7."I picked up a pizza and was super excited to eat it. I put it in the passenger seat of my car and said something along the lines of, 'I'm gonna take you home and fuck you up!' I then realized that my window was open, and so was the window of the car next to me. The driver had watched and heard me talk dirty to a pizza."
8."When I was 14, I wanted to try to drink like a dog. I put a bowl on the floor and filled it with Fanta. My dad walked into my room where I was kneeling on the floor with my tongue in the bowl. He has never mentioned it since."
9."My friend and I went to the movies and thought the place was empty, so we started running around and flailing our arms. Turns out, there was a man sitting in the far back corner the whole time just watching us."
11."I once jokingly made an Instagram story of me pretending to shoot oranges out of my bum. My girl walked in on me in the bedroom with my drawers on throwing oranges so it looked like a POV of them popping out my butt."
15."I was once a server, and we have ranch dressing in bags, which were so satisfying to squish. I started doing it the way cats do it with their paws against something. I looked to my left and saw my manager staring at me."