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24 Tweets That Will Make You Feel More Human

*Video doesn’t load within 2 seconds* Well I guess I’ll never know.

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1. When your practice comes into use:

When parents say to kids "go to ur room & think about what you've done" it's really good practice for what you'll do every night as an adult

2. When you get put in your place:

You think you're pretty okay at doing stuff, and then you try to plug something into an outlet you're not looking directly at.

3. When you try to get your shit together:

me and my friends trying to get our lives together

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4. When you dwell on your self-improvement:

Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no

5. When you reflect on the lives of previous generations:

Being 28-2016: I'm not ready for a relationship 28-1816: I have 13 kids 28-1000BC: I lived a good life, thrice I ate a berry and once a pear

6. When you're feeling left out:

[slowly rises from trashcan while 2 friends are making plans without me] i am also free that day.

7. When you continue on as usual:

when u know the solutions to all ur problems but u just don't wanna do em

8. When you put on a fake smile:

hahahaha=i smiled hahaha=ok haha=why don't you call from a landline while you're at it. it's like ha=i mean its like everyday with this shit

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9. When you're unsure of the social norm:

Ordered my first Uber and I wasn’t sure whether to get into the back seat or the front seat so I just climbed into the trunk

10. When you've not got full battery:

[gets kidnapped] Hold up, I forgot my phone charger.

11. When your bedtime plans go amiss:

Me: imma be in bed by 10 Me at 1am:

12. When you just want to be in bed:

BAND: How’s everyone doing tonight!! [crowd goes nuts] ME (standing in the middle, normal voice): Ok I guess. Kinda tired.

13. When your patience is nonexistent:

*video doesn’t load within 2 seconds* well i guess i’ll never know

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14. When your ambitions have died:

So funny how when you’re a kid you want to be a grown up, but when you’re a grown up you just want to wake up one day as a giant cockroach.

16. When you deal with your problems:

Don't get mad. Get very, very quiet and let it kill you a little inside.

17. When you experience life's greatest joy:

When you’re cutting wrapping paper and your scissors start to glide is what I imagine heroin feels like.

18. When you don't know what you're doing:

Remember when you'd be staying at a friend's house & you'd wake up before them & wouldn't know what to do? That's how my whole life feels

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19. When you fuck up in public:

*suffers a mild public embarrassment* ME:

20. When you share your wisdom:

[picks up crying baby] it's ok buddy, when you grow up you'll learn how to do this on the inside

21. When there's no way you're choosing that basket:

No fucking way will I choose the shopping cart that someone left a piece of paper in.

22. When your home is a mess:

My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.

24. When it all comes to an end:

put "wasn't really alive tho" on my grave

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