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55 Thoughts Everyone Has While Shopping At Poundland

Are they sure this only costs a pound?

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1. Why won't this door open? Oh, it's not automatic. OK.

2. I don't need a basket – I'm only calling in for a few items.

3. Plus I'll only be a few minutes, five at the most.

4. Well, maybe 10 with all these people here.

5. Seriously, where did they all come from?

6. There's no way this many people all live nearby.

7. I think that woman just tried to run me over with a pushchair.

8. Wow, Fray Bentos pies. Strong start.

9. Right next to a two-pack of bleach.

10. Wait, do these cost a pound?

11. What's that smell? I think it might be bleach.

12. Nope, I'm definitely smelling a strange mixture of bleach and steak pie.

13. It's probably weird that I'm feeling hungry from this.

14. Oh well, guess I better pick up a pie or two.


15. Wait, what did I even come in here for?

16. If I wander around, I'm sure I'll remember what I originally needed.

17. Ooh, they do pick 'n' mix now.

18. Wait, how much does this cost?

19. God, I miss Woolworths.

20. Biscuits! You can never have too many biscuits.

21. I'll just buy one or two packets.

22. Maybe a few more.

23. I'm pretty sure the biscuits were what I came in for anyway.

24. Really starting to regret not picking up a basket.

25. I guess I should just head over to the checkouts and leave.

26. Look at that damn queue, though. I think I'll wait for it to die down a little.

27. Anyway, what harm could having a look around do?

28. I think I'll head over to the entertainment section. That's always fun.

29. There's a strangely large amount of books about serial killers here.

30. And DVDs.

31. Seriously, who's buying this stuff?

32. Ha, look at all these rubbish CDs. Who even buys them these days?

33. Wait, is that the Space Jam soundtrack?

34. Damn, this is actually pretty good.

35. Can I justify buying the Space Jam soundtrack?

36. Fuck it, I'm buying the Space Jam soundtrack.

37. Are they sure this only costs a pound?

38. Halloween masks in March – why not?

39. Better get out of here before I spend any more money.

40. Wait, is that a box of Capri-Sun?

41. How did I miss this earlier?

42. What other bargains have I missed?!

43. Okay, I'm buying this six-pack of Capri-Sun. I'd be an idiot not to.

44. After all, it's only a quid.

45. I better have another look around in case I've missed any other great deals.

46. No, you're stronger than this. Just take what you've got and leave.

47. Goddamn it, the queues are bigger now.

48. After Eights. Fancy.

49. Oh god, what time is it?

50. I've already been in here close to an hour. HOW?!

51. Thinking of it, I'm pretty sure I haven't got what I came in for.

52. Oh well, I'll just come back tomorrow.

53. Why is there only one checkout open?

54. I REALLY should have picked up a basket.

55. I honestly don't remember picking up this many biscuits.


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