1. What's the reception desk situation here?
2. There needs to be an international set of reception desk procedures all hairdressers follow.
3. OK, that was easier than expected.
4. So I guess I just sit here and look at popular hairstyles from 2004.
5. Does anyone actually use these books as a reference?
6. I should have brought in a photo of my hair from that day it looked good and just asked for that.
7. Oh god, I'm going to be asked where I'm going on holiday.
8. At least I've got time to come up with something interesting.
9. Portugal. Do people still holiday in Portugal?
10. No, I'll just stick to somewhere safe, like Florida.
11. Wait, I still have time to come up with somewhere better.
12. Oh shit, did they just call my name?
13. Oh Christ, they did.
14. I'll just have to improv this conversation.
15. Wait, screw the small talk, what the fuck do I want doing with my hair?!
16. I literally have no idea what I just agreed to.
17. I'll just avoid eye contact with the mirror and hope for the best.
18. Just keep looking down.
19. Why did I even book this appointment?
20. I could have waited another few months. Easily.
21. Well, I'm here now. There's no escape. None.
22. Especially now they've put the backwards cape on me.
23. OK, here come the questions.
24. The holiday one. I've prepared for this!
25. Why did I just answer that honestly?
26. I could have said anywhere.
27. Venice, Hawaii. Hell, the moon, even!
28. Now they'll think I'm boring. I could have been a damn astronaut.
29. I bet my haircut reflects this.
30. Maybe if I play dead the hairdresser will stop talking to me at least.
31. Great, now the phone's ringing.
32. Is there seriously no one else here who can answer the damn thing?
33. They can't leave like this.
34. It's OK, I'm sure my hair doesn't look that bad semi-cut.
35. Oh god, IT'S TERRIBLE.
36. KILL IT WITH FIRE.
37. At least no one can really see it.
38. Fuck, I'm next to the window.
39. People are definitely looking at me.
40. I feel like a goldfish. A goldfish with a shitty haircut.
41. Wait, goldfish don't have hair.
42. Lucky bastards. No wonder they always look so smug.
43. I wish I was a goldfish right now.
44. OK, the phone call is over. Time to concentrate again.
45. Just made eye contact in the mirror. Awkward.
46. I really need to stop looking in the mirror.
47. Right, it's head-tilting time.
48. My turn to do some work.
49. Let's do this.
50. When do I stop?
51. Are they going to tell me when to stop?!
52. I feel like an inverted owl!
53. This is how I die.
54. I should just accept my fate.
55. Oh, I can stop now.
56. That was a close call.
57. Why aren't there machines that can do this?
58. Hell, it's the 21st century. There should be flying hairdressers by now.
59. This is so awkward that I'd risk letting a robot loose on my head with a pair of scissors.
60. The hairdresser definitely knows I'm thinking this.
61. I can feel it in the way my hair is being cut.
62. And why have they stopped speaking to me?
63. It's because I wasn't interesting enough.
64. I wish they'd talk to me again.
65. Maybe I should talk to them?
66. Say something. Anything.
67. No, that would be crazy.
68. How much longer will this social torture last?
69. OK, I think it's almost finished.
72. Nope. Another false alarm.
73. Yay, they're taking out the backwards mirror. It is over!
74. I SURVIVED.
75. Oh god, it needs a little more off the back.
76. Just say something, it's not going to offend them.
77. Too late.
78. The backwards cape is coming off. You're stuck this way now.
81. Oh well, I'll just book another appointment soon.
83. Money well spent.