1. Hang out in the same business establishment. All. The. Damn. Time.
2. Hail a taxi and have one show up right away.
3. Be overly descriptive when talking on the telephone.
4. And never end a telephone conversation by saying goodbye.
5. Have kids who conveniently and inexplicably disappear for long periods of time and come back looking much older than they should.
6. Develop a personal catchphrase.
7. Have a near-violent hatred towards your parents-in-law.
8. Casually pause to let a joke sink in.
9. And make a joke every other sentence.
10. Have 20+ significant relationships over the course of 10 years.
11. Live in a huge house/apartment that's way beyond your means.
12. Commit actions with no regard for future consequences.
13. Enter your friend's property without even having the courtesy to knock.
14. Always make a dramatic entrance.
Why would you even do this?!